Now we’ve never seen Rachael Ray’s TV show or read any of her books – we’re not even exactly sure who she is – but that bitch is a freaking terrorist.
Why? Because Rachael Ray will only be happy when the charred remains of the western world are enslaved by evil democracy-shunning, freedom-hating Arabs. This is a well-established fact.
How do we know this? Because Rachael Ray was recently seen in a Dunkin’ Donuts advert wearing a scarf that, if you get far enough away from it and squint, looks vaguely like the kind of thing that Yasser Arafat used to wear, even though it’s flowery and made of silk. What that means is that Rachael Ray is the worst kind of terrorist bitch from hell and should probably be executed in public for her implied beliefs. Or so we’re told.
Here’s a little-known fact – if you eat, or have ever eaten, a doughnut from Dunkin’ Donuts, then you’re just as bad as those people who flew planes into the World Trade Centre. It’s true because a bunch of crackpot conservative bloggers and someone who works for Fox News said so, and none of them have ever been wrong about anything.
Perhaps we should explain. A few months ago Rachael Ray – the daytime lifestyle TV show host and author of Rachael Ray’s 30-Minute Meals for Kids: Cooking Rocks! – signed up to become the face of Dunkin’ Donuts. However, little did Dunkin’ Donuts know that Rachael Ray was going to use her position working for the company as a platform to preach her pro-terrorist hatred to the unsuspecting masses.
Well, not ‘preach’ exactly – what Rachael Ray actually did was wear a scarf in one advert that looks slightly like a keffiyeh, a traditional headscarf worn by Arab men. And that, as any conservative blogger will tell you, is worse than blowing yourself up on a crowded commuter train. First blogger Pam Geller ran a story with the headline ‘Rachel [sic] Ray: Dunkin Donuts Jihad Tool’ which read:
“Have you seen Rachel [sic] Ray wearing the icon of Yasser Arafatbastard and the bloody Islamic jihad? This is part of the cultural jihad.”
And such was the force of the berserk backlash against Rachael Ray for doing such a profoundly anti-American activity as keeping her neck warm that Dunkin’ Donuts, fearful of the number of reactionary spazzes who eat their doughnuts dropping slightly, pulled the advert immediately. ABC News reports:
Dunkin’ Donuts issued a statement from Margie Myers, senior vice president of communications for Dunkin’ Brands: “In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by the stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, as of this past weekend, we are no longer using the online ad because the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee.”
To further prove that it hates terrorists as much as everyone else, Dunkin’ Donuts is now rushing to launch its new super patriotic Red White & Blueberry doughnut, which comes wearing a cowboy hat, has the lyrics to every Bruce Springsteen song iced onto it and is filled with the delicious blood of anti-American dissidents.
But Rachael Ray isn’t going to get away so lightly. As well as agreeing to wear the keffiyeh-style flowery scarf, it’s also been revealed that if you buy a copy of her book Rachael Ray 365: No Repeats: A Year of Deliciously Different Dinners and read the fifth letter of every third word on the seventh line of each page that’s a multiple of six, Rachael Ray spells out a complex series of bomb-making instructions that includes where to buy the components and details of where and when to hit to hit hit traffic and commerce infrastructures the hardest. Seriously, try it.
In other news, Martha Stewart‘s recent decision to advertise her Martha Stewart Collection 6-Piece Multi-Colour Melamine Bowl Set by dressing up in a KKK hood and screaming “White power!” at the top of her voice has been shelved indefinitely.
gir says
Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter should make a porn together. It could be used to induce vomiting.
Jeff says
What’s next?
Two words: Rachael Che
http://www.tboblogs.com/index.php/life/comments/yum-o-la-revolucion-rachael-strikeray-strike-che-rocks-a-scarf/
David Bryden says
Pamela Geller writes of “that story I broke… about Rachael Ray wearing the Kafiyya”
Ms. Geller, you did not “break a story”. That is not what you broke.
You broke the barrier that separates reality from paranoid fantasy.
You broke through, to a place where people are damned not just for murdering, nor befriending murderers; but also for a semantic slip-of-the-eye, a visual pun that happened ONLY inside Pamela Geller’s brain.
You broke the distinction between your perceptions and the solid world. The distinction between Pamela’s dreams, and reality.
Something in you, broke.
Something in you, IS broke.
Clem says
Are you freakin serious? Ignorant people shouldn’t be allowed to publish articles. If you don’t know what you’re talking about then don’t put it out there!
roberto jose delarosa says
Get real. The real terrorists work in Washington DC. Their employers are the CIA and the House of Representatives. Their biggest terrorist cell is Wall Street. Wake up Amerika – and welcome to the New World Order. Still seeking 911 Truth.
Ladona says
Sign a petition to tell Dunkin Donuts we don’t believe Rachel Ray’s scarf is a terrorist symbol and that we’re disappointed in their decision to pull their ad and capitulate to the hysterical fringe of the right-wing blogosphere: http://www.eztrackz.com/tracking.aspx?id=85106
vaporland says
this is so unbelievably stupid that I think I am ready to move to France…
owl says
No DD’s for two years as punishment for slandering without getting all the facts. Taking away someone’s livliehood is an unacceptable action. I will not purchase DD’s for a two year period.
rOOSTER says
REALLY, YOU PEOPLE HAVE THAT MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS? WOW NO WONDER OUR ECONOMY IS IN THE SHITS, NO ONE IS WORKING, THEY ARE TOO BUSY BEING DUMB.
GOOD JOB, KEEP IT UP!
John Reece says
I’ll bet if Rachel Ray appeared in a brown shirt, Sam Browne belt, jodhpurs and boots you nutroots wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the symbolism. But in an age where Bush Derangement Syndrome is more widespread than the Black Death in 1300 what can one expect.
BTW, Arianne Huffingtom seems to get younger every time I click the refresh button in Safari. Isn’t Photoshop wonderful????
Gilbert Wham says
HELLO rOOSTER!!!!! My dear fellow, I do think you’ll find that Mr Heritage is English. Therefore neither he, nor any of the rest of us, are responsible for your ECONOMY(sic). Do try to keep up, there’s a good chap…
gir says
“I’ll bet if Rachel Ray appeared in a brown shirt, Sam Browne belt, jodhpurs and boots you nutroots wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the symbolism.”
Yeah because that’s exactly analogous to what has happened. Where she was in a commercial for iced coffee wearing a scarf. Because iced coffee is cold, you see.
You are just dumb as hell, and whether it’s willful ignorance or genetic defect I care not.
Steve Jones says
This proves it: we’ve all gone stark raving mad.
Steve says
Another atempt to wave an arab reference and credit it to “conservatives”.
Pam geller spoofed the scarf as a terrorist just as you did.
Watch her segment. Check your facts. I did.
It really isn’t hard, even a liberal can do it.
Character Counts says
This is the biggest bunch of crap I’ve heard in a while. Dunkin’ Donuts should not have pulled the ad. What next? We go back to burning witches. This is a new form of McCarthyism and we should not fall victim to it.
CamilleC says
Ridiculous and shameful that this even happened. I want to buy one of those scarves as rebellion but am afraid some idiot will kill me.
Gilbert Wham says
Apparently eastern-European neo-nazis have started wearing them. Because it shows you don’t like jews, you see. Or, it shows that nazis are morons, I forget which.
pappy says
Interesting. Its racism of course, plain and simple. Its like if Coke pulled a Bill Cosby ad because his black skin was insensitive to people who had had crimes committed against them by people with black skin.
I don’t think Dunkin Donuts or capitalism in general is racist in itself. Its just a basic tool in the toolbox for splitting people up, keeping them disorganized and breaking down the social bonds that lead people to have supportive feelings about each other. This de-socialization is really a key element in getting wealth and decision making into the hands of private power. Divide and conquer. Identity politics. Its complicated ‘tho. You have to pick a vulnerable target to match the situation, and you can’t go too far, or it can backfire. Right now in many situations of course Arabic peoples are the vulnerable target. A good media person has good instincts here, that’s how you get ahead in the game and maximize funding from the advertisers. Michelle Malkin’s nationally syndicated column is doing very well.
On her website it looks like she’s also having fun with several other people dividers. Illegal immigrants is a great program of course, it attacks us on so many levels. It incorporates racism, but also increases the percentage of the working class who have no political or social rights at all. It drives down wages, pitting legal and illegal sectors of the working class against each other instead of uniting in common interest against the ruling class, etc. That’s why we have it, not porous borders. Other countries with more difficult borders maintain 100% control when they want to. In Europe they chose to use the “guest worker” program to split people up, some of the ruling class wants to implement that in the US now, that’s what they’re talking about on the TV when they say “immigration reform”.
More interesting on the web site is how Malkin is working on splitting up the coffee drinkers. Dunkin Donuts (“conservative”) vs. Starbucks (“liberal”). This corresponds to a big effort here throughout the media, check it out on your computer. Its usually in the context of “conservative” verses “liberal”. Consistent efforts to portray country music as “conservative” and rock music as “liberal”, gun nuts as “conservative” and non-gun nuts as “liberal”, Christians as conservative, etc. Which of course in the reality of everyday people is bs. The Beach Boys are Reaganites and Merl Haggard loves Hilary Clinton, etc. Right wing gays and hippys abound, I know some. The actual social mores of a “conservative” bible belt person of course exceed the wildest decadent fantasies of your stereotypical “east coast liberal” intellectual.