It's been five years since R Kelly was hit with 21 charges of child pornography after apparently filming himself piddling on a 14-year-old's face – but don't assume that R Kelly will be going to court any time soon.

Yes, yes, we know that R Kelly's child porn trial was set to start in less than a fortnight – finally bringing one of the most notorious celebrity/child sex tape sagas ever to a close – but a judge has decided that if R Kelly can wait five years to find out if he's going to jail for allegedly weeing in a teenager's face he can wait another one. R Kelly's child porn trial has been delayed yet again, this time because the lead prosecutor has just given birth and everything's a bit sore, or something. We also know that's it's a terrible coincidence that R Kelly's lead prosecutor gave birth right before his trial started – something tells us the police should search her home for traces of piss. And 14-year-old girls. Oh, alright – allegedly.

Listen to R Kelly and you'll hear about how he's the modern-day Martin Luther King. Listen to anyone else and they'll tell you that R Kelly is an egomaniac nutter with a fixation on his own penis who thinks he can fly when he patently can't. But both R Kelly and everyone else who isn't R Kelly has to admit that R Kelly is one lucky chap.

Not only has R Kelly basically had a late career-bloom by making a DVD of himself in a cupboard saying the word "shit" a lot but also the biggest thing currently hanging over R Kelly's head – his child porn trial – has been shifted back yet again. It's not the first time that R Kelly's trial has been delayed – in the five years since he was charged with apparently making a video of himself performing a number of sex acts, including urination, on what looks to be a 14-year-old girl, R Kelly's trial has been delayed because his appendix burst and because the judge fell off a ladder, among other things – but it is the most recent time that R Kelly's trial has been delayed, and that's why we're telling you.

R Kelly's child porn trial had been scheduled to begin on September 17, but now the lead prosecutor has been held up with baby-sores so it's all back to the drawing board. MTV reports:

Just one month ago, it looked like the wait was over — but a Chicago judge decided on Tuesday (September 4) that the child-pornography criminal case against R. Kelly, which has been pending for five years, will not be going to trial on September 17 after all. Judge Vincent Gaughan had previously scheduled the trial date at a hearing on August 1, but changed his mind at a status hearing Tuesday, after taking into consideration that the lead prosecutor, Shauna Boliker, who recently gave birth, would not be able to proceed per her doctor's orders. Boliker, the chief of Illinois' Cook County Sex Crimes Division, had previously gone right back to work after the births of her two other children.

There's a gag order on court proceedings so far, so nobody knows exactly what's going on, but there's thought to be another status hearing on Monday, which could determine the next date on which R Kelly's trial could begin. Unless, of course, one of the defence team gets bitten by a werewolf and the whole thing gets delayed again. And, let's face it, that's a more likely scenario than the one where R Kelly actually goes to court to answer questions about pissing on children's faces any time soon. 

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R Kelly Child-Pornography Trial Postponed Yet Again – MTV