Publicist Implies Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Special

We all know the 12 steps addicts complete to achieve successful rehabilitation, but what is not widely know is the special (and obviously made up by us) 15 step program reserved for celebrities.

Lindsay Lohan has given us commoners a looksee at the extra steps reserved for superior beings: filming movies, shopping, and running errands. Supplemental steps of having a massage therapist and make-up artist come regularly to rehab may be practised at the patient’s discretion. Apparently, Lindsay likes to maximise her rehabilitation by doing these as well during her stay at the Wonderland rehab facility.

Rumours have been circulating that rehab-bunny Lindsay Lohan’s fellow Wonderland residents are upset, saying that Lindsay is receiving preferential treatment. The young actress received permission to continue to shoot the upcoming stripper film I Know Who Killed Me during the day and return to Wonderland at night. We sure hope Lindsay’s given a discount for all that time she’s not there at the centre, because she really shouldn’t be charged full price for the program. That’s just a waste of money. But we digress. TMZ has reportedly spoken to an ex-Wonderland patron who stated that she tragically had to leave treatment early due to all the ruckus caused by Lindsay Lohan’s shenanigans. 

Lindsay’s rep Leslie Sloane Zelnik (who hopefully won’t spontaneously implode due to the pressure of being on what seems to be constant high alert status for her client) insists that her client is taking her rehabilitation seriously, and that she is not receiving special treatment. Zelnik states:

“This isn't the Betty Ford Clinic, it's not a lockdown facility. There is personal time. All these naysayers who keep blogging and speaking out, like the 'Today' show, they don't know what she's going through. they're not there. They shouldn't speak until they've gone through something like that.” 

Well, we have tasted our own medicine and it is bitter! 

Now, we must support our little Lindsay on one point and say that shopping is universally good for what ails you. Why, just yesterday we stopped off at the mall and got ourselves a sexy little slingback heel in Rock Star Red. They cost more than what we pay for rent, but we felt so elated that we skipped our weekly court-mandated anger management class.

LiLo also reportedly took her Mercedes in for a tune-up, which is obviously justified because there is no excuse for poor auto maintenance. And as for the supposed pampering squad? Well, we’re just down-right jealous.

Lindsay Rolls Out Again, Rehab Residents Complain - TMZ