Priscilla Presley is gloriously unique – as things stand, she's the only woman in the world who's been in a Naked Gun film, married Elvis Presley and had Argentinian auto engine lubricant injected into her face.
Priscilla Presley had Argentinian auto engine lubricant injected into her face, did we mention that? We did? Oh good.
We should probably point out that Priscilla Presley had it done by accident by a dodgy male prostitute who pretended to be a cosmetic surgeon and told her it was better than Botox. But we should only point that out because it sounds hilarious and not because it's agonising and has ruined Priscilla Presley's life and stuff, which it probably has, to be honest.
You have to feel for the Presleys at the minute. As well as knowing that nothing they can ever do can even come close to matching any of Elvis Presley's accomplishments, even though he died on the pooper, they seem to be slowly morphing into creatures that barely even look human.
First Lisa Marie Presley got pregnant and put on so much weight that she ended up suing anyone who called her fat, and now her mother Priscilla Presley has problems of her own. You see, to look at Priscilla Presley at the moment, you'd think she was auditioning for the Eric Stoltz role in the upcoming theatre musical Mask: The Gender-Confused Sexagenarian Years. It's all weird and bulbous and, unlike Lisa Marie, Priscilla doesn't have "I'm pregnant, you insensitive bastards!" as a retort for looking that way.
And, as we may have already said, that's because a male Argentinian hooker injected engine lubricant into her face. TMZ reports:
Priscilla went to Dr. Daniel Serrano around 2003. Serrano was a good-looking doc from Argentina who hooked into Hollywood's social A-list and started giving them what he claimed were miracle injections that worked better than Botox. In fact, Serrano was injecting industrial, low-grade silicone similar to what's used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina into the faces of these women… The injections caused lumps, paralysis and holes in the faces of some of the women (and some men) he injected.
Ah, the old 'better than Botox' claim. When will these elderly women realise that nothing on earth is better than Botox, because having a frighteningly fixed expression all the time thanks to some bloke injecting a load of botulism into your face is as good as it gets, baby.
It's not just Priscilla Presley who let the hooker pump silicon into her face – Larry King's wife and Lionel Richie's ex-wife have also been named as victims of the hole-faced engine lubricant injection scam as well. Dr Serrano – who doesn't even have a medical license in America – was indicted for smuggling, sent to prison, released and is now under investigation by immigration officials.
Meanwhile Priscilla Presley is reported to be undergoing corrective surgery for all the cock-ups that have happened on her face. It's unknown what this procedure will involve, but let's hope for her sake that it involves tattooing 'don't let Argentinian prostitutes inject engine lubricant into your face again you massive idiot' backwards onto her retina so it's all she ever sees for the rest of her stupid life.