Prince Harry: The Stone Cold Killer?

What a week for royal shenanigans. It’s like someone is trying to remix the lot of them and make them popular for a modern generation. Could Mark Ronson be moving on to making people seem popular now?

This week has seen multiple stories about Princess Diana and the continuing drama of how she was smashed into a wall, the king of Saudi Arabia coming to see the Queen for a large chunk of swan pie and a naff member of the royal family who we can’t apparently name sniffing magic fairy dust and doing other rude things. So it was only a matter of time before Prince Harry barged in, possibly shot an endangered bird to death and then got in trouble for it.

Prince Harry has got pretty much everything in the palm of his hand. All the privilege of royalty without ever having the responsibility of being king. But what’s this ginger love machine gone and done now? Well something pretty similar to his brother William.

You know William, the seemingly not-too-distant relative of Tim Nice But Dim. A few weeks ago, William thought he’d blow the face off a poor innocent cuddly deer. All for fun mind, because you know that’s what posh people do for entertainment. While most common folk like to relax by maybe reading an over-hyped Harry Potter book, watch a DVD or go to a gig, superior members of society like to go and kill animals with guns. We wonder what animal lover Simon Cowell would say about that? 

Killing animals seems to run in the royal family’s blood. So it’s not a surprise to see Prince Harry polishing up his gun and cracking off a few rounds at the wildlife in one of his families estates. As the Times reports: 

The Prince, who was shooting on the Royal Family’s Sandringham estate when a conservation warden saw two hen harriers blasted out of the sky.

Hen Harrier? What? What’s the fuss over two hens? Well these aren’t just any normal hens. While they don’t have super powers to pickle onions without vinegar or anything like that, they are one of Britain’s rarest species of birds. How rare? Well there were 20 pairs left, but that number has slightly decreased thanks to Harry the alleged bird murderer.

Now Prince Harry could potential face charges for killing an endangered species. A conviction for killing a protected bird carries a maximum six-month jail sentence and a £5,000 fine. But of course when Harry was questioned by the fuzz about the incident, he denied all knowledge. That’s almost like the time we forgot to pay for those DVDs after they accidentally fell into our carrier bag and then mysteriously got covered up by our jackets. We’re pretty sure an endangered bird stands out from a bog standard crow. 

We doubt Harry will be prosecuted as it always seems there’s one rule for the powerful and another for average folk like us. Maybe he’ll just go back to organising rubbish gigs or hitting photographers while wearing silly hats. 

Read more: 

Prince Harry in Deep Water As Police Investigate Bird Shooting - Times