Our hero Prince Harry is to return home! The move follows the collapse of the news blackout deal that had been silently agreed between the MoD and newspapers and broadcasters in the UK and abroad.

Was it a British news source that broke the deal? No, sir, of course not – how dare you ask? – it was a foreign one. And which foreigners do we blame? That’s right: Australia; Those bloody foreigners. It was apparently leaked there in January, fortunately though, what with it being in Australia, nobody noticed, and it wasn’t until influential US website The Drudge Report got hold of the story that Harry was asked home. So we’ve been let down by two countries that we basically created.

But still, Harry’s home – Yay!