Pretending To Date Harry Styles Is The New Black

harry-styles-1Harry Style’s recent lunch date with Kimberly Stewart was apparently just one big show for the cameras. How could anyone be so cynical as to think that the love between a floppy-haired 19 year old and a 33 year old mother-slash-socialite couldn’t be real? 

Oh that’s right. Because he’s already ‘dated’ Taylor Swift to rack up more column inches, and once you’ve bitten that bullet, what else is there to do but head down the ol’ washed up socialite route? He’ll be on to Paris Hilton if we’re not careful, and that level of media-whoring may actually break the internet. Not to mention the very real danger that  Paris could become ‘inspired’ by the One Direction singer and release a second album. 

But let’s worry about crossing that bridge when we reach it. Harry and Kimberly were seen grabbing lunch with Rod Stewart, Penny Lancaster and one of his less famous kids that’s also dating one of The Real Housewives. The Stewart’s sure know how to pick them, eh?

He was also seen leaving her home the next morning to go and get Starbucks. In all fairness, she could have just hired him to babysit her one-year old daughter, but would you really trust this guy with your kid? He looks like if you brushed his hair, baggies of powder and small creatures would drop out of it.

Harry Styles and Kimberley Stewart leaving restaurant

Harry has got himself quite the reputation as a ‘cougar’ lover – despite the fact that he’s 19, and therefore has no other option but to date women who are older than he is. Going any younger could potentially cause some messy lawsuits.

As well being yet another notch on Taylor Swift’s bedpost – if she even has any bedposts left at this point – he’s also been linked to Caroline Flack, who was 32 when he was 17 (hint: when you go out for a drink with your boyfriend and have to make him wait outside while you order, he’s too young) and radio presenter Lucy Horobin, who was 32 and married at the time they were supposedly bumpin’ uglies. They’ve never confirmed that they actually did the nasty, but she got divorced two months after the rumours started which is a pretty good indication.

It’s probably time that bookies started offering an accumulator on Harry Style’s next conquest. The smart money’s on Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift (again) and Kris Jenner.

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Comments

  1. Dorian Marie Leasure says

    i wish i could find his real facebook because i want to be his friend

  2. Layn Love says

    He acts like a lunatic walking around naked but that is kind of sexy I mean