It's a sad state of affairs when the contestants of last year's Celebrity Big Brother manage to be more interesting and newsworthy than the contestants of this year's Celebrity Big Brother – perhaps the new lot could learn from Preston.
Preston – or Chantelle's Rock Star Husband Preston, to use his full magazine-endorsed name – has hit the news for walking off unfunny past-its-sell-by-date music panel quiz Never Mind The Buzzcocks in a self-important huff after host Simon Amstell read some of his wife's autobiography out in a funny way. See Americans, you can stick your Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump feuds up your arse; we've got our very own celebrity scrap that's just as good as yours – or at least it would be if Simon Amstell and Preston Out Of Big Brother were mega-wealthy media and real estate tycoons and not some bloke from the world's worst band and the boy from Popworld.
When it comes to celebrity feuds, you have your a-list, like Paul McCartney Vs Yoko Ono; then there's your b-list, featuring Rosie O'Donnell Vs Donald Trump; then a c-list, mainly containing Lindsay Lohan Vs Reality – and then there's Preston Out Of Big Brother and Simon Amstell from Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Scientists are hard at work trying to label this particular feud, but first need to come up with a new letter that comes six or seven places after z.
Here's mainly why Preston Out Of Big Brother and Simon Amstell from Never Mind The Buzzcocks have fallen out: in 2006 Preston – from indie no-mark band The Ordinary Boys – cashed in his almost-dropped musical credibility to appear on Celebrity Big Brother. Even though Preston had a girlfriend at the time, he fell in love with deliberately unfamous housemate Chantelle during the show. When Chantelle eventually won Celebrity Big Brother Preston ditched his girlfriend, got hitched to Chantelle and became a Bella-friendly woman's magazine staple, which allowed him to carry on with his dreadful music career and release all kinds of not-quite-top-ten singles. And then Chantelle wrote a book. And that's where the trouble started.
One of Simon Amstell's tricks on Never Mind The The Buzzcocks is to hilariously read from the guests' autobiographies in a sarcastic voice. As well as being just about the laziest way to fill up half an hour of broadcast television, it also makes idiots from shit bands really upset, so when Simon Amstell read this, from Chantelle's autobiography I Like Nice Things I Do (or whatever)…
"I've always loved M&S but it has always been too expensive for me. The photo shoot made me feel very posh and upmarket."
…Preston threw a wobbly and walked out of the studio, and out of Simon Amstell's heart forever. And now Preston has decided to speak out about why he flounced off Never Mind The Buzzcocks like a whiny little girl:
“If that was in any other situation I would have hit him and knocked him out. Obviously I didn’t want to resort to those sorts of things, so I just had to remove myself from the situation. If I’d had to look at his snotty little public schoolboy failed-career face, I would have hit him. He’s got no charm.”
That's Preston there, the snotty, charmless, failed-career popstar talking about Simon Amstell, who hosts his own prime-time TV show. Oh, hey, did we mention that a new series of Never Mind The Buzzcocks conveniently starts in two weeks, and Preston's band The Ordinary Boys conveniently have a single coming out on Monday. Did we mention that?
And Chantelle's autobiography is still in all good bookshops, obviously. But that's just because only wankers buy it.
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Georgy says
Well this is certainly one celebrity fight I couldn’t care less about. Maybe they’ll kill each other and solve two problems at once
Schneider says
Next stop for Preston is UFC by the sounds of it. Never had him down as a hard man. Although I think he has a tattoo…
mieke says
i’m sorry but who ever wrote this article is a complete pisshead. how can you say that never mind the buzzcocks is not funny, do you have a sense of hummor?
and also simon amstell is not what preston says he is, preston is a cheap little twat that some how has made money and a reputation he is just trying to be posh and upper class when he will allways be a chav, just like his idiotic excuse of a girlfirend the useless sad chantelle. and you why don’t you get a life relise that nmtb is not “past-its-sell-by-date” you just have nothing better to write, because you are an unsucsessful attemp of a writer, that is prooved by the fact you have to write somthing bad because you have not got enough skill to make a complment interesting, you sad lame little twat. And that your articles are on the internet.
oh and by the way simon amstell looks great and you are probably jelous that you don’t have as much style.
thank you
Tarik says
Thank you Mieke!
Chris says
I dunno which twat wrote this article but maybe emigrate to the States
I think the writer of this article has the wrong end of the stick from the word go. The idea of both NMTB and Simon Amstell isnt to create an American media style arrogant feud..where the only thing that matters is the cred of the celebrities in question (e.g. the people u have named).
NMTB is British humour at its best. Both the host and the comedy panelist know that they are worthless in the celebrity world, they know the show is low budget and can barely book guests…and frankly i dont think they give a fuck. Which is why the show is so good in its satirical British way..
Catherine says
Never Mind the Buzzcocks is class! Preston on the other hand is a boring twat
Anthony says
Yes NTMB is great, if you don’t find it funny you need someone to check your sense of humour :-\ Preston meanwhile, is a scroat.
Rob says
Well…the author of this article is quite opinionated…can i asked do you actually like anything? yes i agree preston is a waste of space, but how can you say never mind the buzzcocks isnt funny? if that isnt, what is? get a sense of humour, then you can have an opinion on comedy shows!
nico says
Its not as if Amstell is trying to get into one of your shitty celebrity obsessed, morally vacuous, brand endorsing shitbag of publications normally populated with ‘witty’ ‘articles’ about Amy Winehouse’s crack habit or Lindsay Lohan’s camel toe. I dont understand this. I dont understand this culture that revolves around celebrities. I dont get why your shitty website is plastered with adverts for a company called ‘Celeb Look A Likes’. Are your lives so sordid, miserable and unfulfilling that your sole enjoyment is to invasively perv at celebrities. Shallow PRICKS
eh? says
i agree with nico! i feel a bit a bit ashamed to have just clicked on this pile of fucking wank you call a website, though at least i’ll only ever see this page of this bollocks. though i’m not here to defend amstell, he’s funny but he does come off as a posh arse sometimes. but then again he seems to know that but who knows?. and he gives some of the nobheads destroying real music a deserved piss take. anyway, message to users of this page- you do not know the first thing about what the celebraties you discuss are really like, just a media portrayal of a real personwho may or may not have had a part in creating that image