Press Release Purgatory: Dina Lohan’s Shoes

dina-lohan-ali-cody-fameOn an average day, hecklerspray gets inundated with hundreds of emailed press releases. Some are good, most are boring and a tiny minority are so awful they actually defy definition.

Welcome to another edition of Press Release Purgatory, where we show you some of the mind-curdling crap we receive. THIS WEEK: Dina Lohan’s new shoe collection, which is entitled Shoe-Han. Yes, you read that right. Shoe-Han.

We hate our lives. Read the press release in full after the jump…

From: XXXXXXXXXX
Date: 2009/10/7 at 17:01
Subject: DINA LOHAN, ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS MOTHERS TO ANNOUNCE HER OWN DESIGNER SHOELINE ”SHOE-HAN” AND BECOME NATIONAL SPOKESMODEL AT NEWS CONFERENCE ON THURS OCT 8TH-2pm NYC
To: hecklerspray

DINA LOHAN, ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS MOTHERS TO ANNOUNCE HER OWN  DESIGNER SHOELINE ”SHOE-HAN” AND BECOME NATIONAL SPOKESMODEL AT NEWS CONFERENCE ON THURS OCT 8TH-2pm NYC

Dina Lohan, diva and star of the hit E! show “Living Lohan,” as well as  mother to actress and starlet Lindsay, will be holding a major press conference and media reception on Thursday October, 8th at 2pm at Trump Plaza, 725 5th Avenue, Floor 21, Marc Fisher showroom, to announce a creation of  her new own shoe line, “Shoe-han” as well as becoming a  national spokesmodel for the popular LoveMyShoes.com retail designer ladies footwear stores.

Other celebrities that have sold millions of shoes include: Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Star Jones, Carlos Santana and more.

LoveMyShoes.com hopes to have Dina’s shoes available world-wide from coast to coast by Mother’s Day. She will be appearing as a shoe fashionista later this on month on television and radio commercials. The shoe store chain was founded on Long Island, home of the Lohan family.

To reiterate: we hate our lives.

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Comments

  1. The Joker says

    I would agree that orange Oprah is one of the world’s most famous “mothers”, but perhaps not in the way that Dina thinks it means.

  2. The Joker says

    I’m interested to see that Dina managed to get through an entire press release without mentioning Lindsay.

    But “Star of the hit show ‘Living Lohan’”? Please.

  3. JoeMomma says

    Here I thought that life at the Hecklerspray offices would be the best thing in the world. Living in the ivory tower, bikini clad babes everywhere, tolits with an automated wipe feature. Where you could live in perpetual sarcasam and cynicism. Totally my type of place.

    But you have to shatter that dream with the thought of the amount of sheer crap that comes out as a PR not.

    For shame Hecklerspray you’ve destroyed my abition. Now I’ll barely be able to finish Super Mario Brothers for the millionth time. I’m going to bury my head into a bowl of cheesies.

  4. Stuart Heritage says

    What I’d give for toilet with an automated wipe feature, JoeMamma. Oh, what I’d give…