Creepy sterile men, form an orderly queue – Jamie Lynn Spears, the newly-pregnant 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears, might very well be back on the market.
Less than 24 hours after Jamie Lynn Spears announced to the world via OK! magazine that a boy she met at church had knocked her up, it's looking increasingly like the pregnancy has driven a wedge between her and the baby's father Casey Aldridge. Yesterday Casey Aldridge took to his MySpace page to poetically express the profound complexity of young love torn asunder by sudden biological maturity. In other words, Casey changed his mood to 'Blah' and listed his status as 'Me and Jamie are over :('. It's hard to know how Jamie Lynn Spears will react to such a poignant display of heartbreak, although experts are guessing it'll either be :'( or x_x depending on how heavily the hormones are kicking in.
Despite everything else that's happened, 2007 will be seen as the year that teenage childrens' TV stars went bad. Obviously Vanessa Hudgens is the architect of this trend, and Hannah Montana the disappointing follow-up, but it looks like all the thunder has been stolen by Jamie Lynn Spears, the newly-crowned queen of sexually irresponsible youth.
Jamie Lynn Spears was almost there yesterday when she told the world that she was pregnant at 16, but there was something in her way. After all, you can't be the queen of sexually irresponsible youth if you met the boy who got you pregnant at church when you were 11 and have been going steady with him ever since. That's just a bit too, you know, stable – especially from a Spears girl. Jamie Lynn Spears should have got knocked by a grubby middle-aged travelling biker in a public lavatory, and she knows it. The girl has a family reputation to uphold.
It's too late for that to happen, though, which is why Jamie Lynn Spears has done the next best thing and split up with Casey Aldridge, the father of her unborn tot. Yesterday Casey went onto his MySpace page to drop the following bombshell in his status bar. You should probably try reading the following in a 'blah' voice, by the way, because that's how Casey describes his mood:
"Me and Jamie are over :("
Nobody knows what caused Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge to split up, although the fact that she's having a baby and he probably hasn't learnt to shave yet might offer the smallest of clues. It must be an impossibly upsetting time for both Jamie Lynn and Casey, but Casey has resolved to throw himself into work as hard as he can – those newspapers will have never been delivered so intensely.
That's if this split story is true, of course – it's just as likely that Casey is trying to throw the media off ahead of his stint as a contestant on the brand-new reality TV show America's Next Top Potential Statutory Rapist.
And maybe being single is what's best for Jamie Lynn Spears now, especially as the pregnancy has flushed her career down the crapper. After all, pregnant schoolchildren are ten a penny these days, but pregnant single schoolchildren? That's enough to keep Jamie Lynn Spears in lucrative Jeremy Kyle guest-spots for the rest of her life.
Read more:
Stabby McGee says
The above article made me pull this face —> XD
Leslie says
o_O
gir says
single pregnant 16 year old who has a significant chance of looking like britney spears?
here’s me-> ======D~
gir says
Note: drawing not to scale
Lisa says
well jamie lynn i’m suprised your pregnant but we all r tenagers in dis difficult world making wrong decisions . But right now the best decision you can make is by keeping the baby because god said everyone deserve a chance in dis world and thats something u can mak ur stars b proud off l……………unlik some mothers you stood by your child and you didnt abort. dey shud keep u on zoey101 without u it wudnt b d sam!!!!!!!!!!! luv lisa
Adam Gade says
gir is a sick fuck
lisa needs education
I’m going to hurl
Oh, sorry I’m in the wrong type of article.
McLovin Burger says
WWWWOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She meets a boy at church at age 11
Then 5 years later she get pregnant
Becaue she’s pregnent Zoey 101 is gonna b cancelled
Because she pregnant She loses her Boyfriend
Now she has nothing but the baby who prbably doesn’t kno her/his mom is a child star
But she did the right thing by keeping the baby
Dancer says
they swhouldnt take her off of Zoey 101 just wait to make another season till after she isnt pregnat and none of the lil kids that watch will ever know and trust me us teenagers will still watch the show so who care big whoop she got pregnat at least she isnt a murder and is ganna abort it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian Paredes says
Jamie Lynn Spears I love tis girl eventhough i dont know who she really is I would love to get to know her
AND YES I WOULD ACCEPT HER AND HER BABY I WOULD BE THE BABIES FaTHER
Im 17
Abi says
They HAVENT split up. Now leave them alone to get on with their lives! I admire J-L. If she had aborted the baby; you would slag her off. If she had a 1 night stand and got pregnant; you would slag her off. She has been with the lad 5 years and is still with him even though she is pregnant; you slag her off. If she hadnt of got pregnant, you would be slagging her off for something else. Leave the girl alone to get on with her life, and get on with your own.
gir says
Lucky for us then that she got pregnant at 16 so the target is really big.
And to tell the truth, I don’t remember seeing anything about Jamie Lynn Spears on hecklerspray before she got pregnant. Although it was probably only a matter of time.
It’s nice that idiot white trash children have a role model to admire, though. Everyone needs a hero.
Kyle Brock says
will jamie lynn be my girlfriend?
Nikole says
Good luck to you(:
louise says
hi my name is louise and i am looking for a single 16 year ols boy xxxx