Posh Spice Gets Real Job As TV Fashion Expert
We don't know about you, but our fashion sense is lousy. If only an alarmingly thin, constantly pouting simpleton with ridiculously inappropriate breast implants could push us in the right direction, we'd be sorted.
What's that? Victoria Beckham has just signed up to host an American TV show where she doles out fashion advice to people willy-nilly? Our prayers have been answered! Or at least they would be, if only we didn't have the nagging suspicion that Victoria Beckham's fashion advice is mostly limited to 'stop eating any food at all' and 'here, wear these enormous sunglasses, they'll make you look a right twat.'
The fortunes of the Spice Girls since they split up has varied enormously. Sitting at the bottom of the pile are Baby Spice and Sporty Spice – AKA the forgotten Spices – while Scary Spice and Ginger Spice languish in the middle somewhere, mainly for falling in love with Eddie Murphy suspiciously quickly and having babies with shit names. But, head and shoulders above the rest of the Spice Girls is Posh Spice – Victoria Beckham. Victoria Beckham is so famous that she has her own perfume and she's allowed to look at – but not touch – Suri Cruise.
Sure, much of this has to do with the fact that Victoria Beckham is married to David Beckham – a man who used to be the captain of the England football team but isn't any more and who used to play for England but doesn't any more. But now that David Beckham's career is on the slide, Victoria Beckham has decided to go it alone the only way she knows how – by being all snotty and condescending about the clothes that people wear on an American TV show that's the brainchild of former Spice Girls Svengali and American Idol mastermind Simon Fuller, who says:
"It won't be a TV show for the sake of a TV show. It will be a fashion proposition that will fit her fashion business. It will be more serious than a reality show but will still be entertaining because Victoria is so funny… I wanted to focus on legitimising her in the fashion world… Victoria has found her niche… She can walk into any room in the fashion world and she knows as much, if not more, than anyone."
That's good, because Victoria Beckham's niche certainly wasn't trying to launch a successful solo career, unless that godawful song she did with Dane Bowers a few years ago was another example of Victoria Beckham being "funny." And let's hope that Victoria Beckham will be able to modify her fashion advice to different situations instead of simply just pumping out a factory line of mini Victoria Beckham clones. Because God knows one screeching, self-important, soggy mop-haired, pencil-thin attention vacuum in the world is already kind of one too many.
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
