Victoria ‘Posh’ Beckham has delivered once again, not another excruciatingly bad pop song, but another boy to add to the Beckham family. Victoria seems to have taken it upon herself to pursue a career in producing babies instead of attempting to resurrect her singing career. Good move.

The newest addition to the family was born in Madrid on Sunday at 10:40 am, central European time. The baby named Cruz, meaning cross in Spanish, is said to have an uncanny resemblance to Victoria herself. Thank God it wasn’t Abraham Lincoln, otherwise we’d have another one of those ebay incidents.

David said: “He’s gorgeous, healthy and his mum is very good so we’re a very happy family. He’s got Victoria’s lips and nose.”

David is understandably happy to have another potential heir to the Beckham throne and hopefully his name will also make him an exceptional crosser of the football should he ever pursue his dad’s career.

Victoria has definitely shifted the media’s perception of their relationship this time, with a new baby named appropriately in Spanish, to a name linked with religious undertones and a strong reminder of wholesome family morals for us all.

Victoria has regained control and set their relationship back on track after David’s alleged relationships had almost torn them apart in the past year.

Now let’s wait and see the bidding war of print publications for the rights to have the first pictures of Cruz with his mum Victoria, who will no doubt start raking in the cash again via some kind of exclusive photo extravaganza.

Put your hands together and applaud Queen Victoria of the Beckham family, who, after a shaky past 2004, has once again stomped her feet down and somewhat restored the Beckham brand.

Well played, good game Victoria. Excellent counter attack. Etc etc.