“Not a Porn Star” Farrah Abraham Has A Second Tape Coming Out

Farrah Abraham Bikini TopFarrah Abraham is really on her way to becoming the most mentally insane reality star there ever was (and that is saying something because we’ve had Tila Tequila and Speidi).  The chick who found fame thanks to skipping 9th grade biology is now officially, without any question, a full-out porn star.

For some reason, Vivid has decided make Abraham an offer for a second sex tape, and she quickly spread her legs wide open, giving the universal whore answer for “HELL YES!”  Yes, the same girl who as of very recently was crying that her first “leaked” tape ruined her life and was her biggest regret, has once again decided to show her loose lips on camera.

Farrah Abraham is still on the that train wreck of a television show (and my total guilty pleasure) Couples Therapy.  She quite quickly has become the enemy of the show, since she’s a lying sack of skanky shit and they are tired of her pretending she isn’t a plastic cum bucket.  While everyone else may be whores for fame, they only suck proverbial dick and don’t pretend otherwise, unlike the reigning queen of the Ugly Cry Face.

Farrah is still trying to convince people that her sex tape, Backdoor Teen Mom, was a leaked tapes with her ex-boyfriend who just happened to be a professional porn star.  She has said several times now that the tape being “leaked” was the worst thing that ever happened to her and is her biggest regret in life.  I’d personally go for the whole agreeing to appear on a reality show about your inability to use a condom as the thing she should regret but that’s just me.

In this week’s episode, she even told the therapist that during the promotional tour she went on for the video, she was drugged and rape repeatedly. Now, I am not one to talk shit about sexual assault.  I think anyone who does that is a terrible human being (Looking at you, Woody Allen) and anyone who has dealt with it gets my utmost sympathy.  But I don’t believe for one second that Abraham was raped at all.

I think it’s much more likely Farrah’s just trying to get pity once again and have a reason for magazines to pay for an interview. And why?  Well, because one would think if making a sex tape was such a damaging thing for you that ended up putting you in such a dark place where you surrounded yourself with terrible people who took advantage of you, that you would never ever want to do something like that again.

And yet here we are.  Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Vivid will be releasing Farrah’s sequel to the snoozefest that was Backdoor.  And what a surprise, she is starring in it with her “ex- boyfriend” James Deen AGAIN.  Yes, the same Deen who Farrah put on blast for leaking the private tape to begin with.  This time, Farrah doesn’t even pretend that this is anything but a permanent visual record of what her gaping asshole looks like.  They have sex swings and fulfill a bunch of Abraham’s fantasies.  Steve Hirsch from Vivid uses the one word to describe Farrah that we all thought was never possible, “talented.”  He says this about the movie,

“What we are releasing next week is a completely different movie. The new Farrah footage is off the charts! She could definitely teach a few porn stars some moves. We have learned there isn’t anything shy about Farrah. She repeatedly tells the media she’s not a porn star, but she sure acts like one both on and off the screen.”

So, having dead eyes and the most blah orgasm sounds ever are requirements for being a good porn star?  I must have missed that memo.

So let’s see, the last time we went through this Farrah ended up getting a mold of her crotch made and sold, went on a tour of strip clubs, and called herself an “entrepreneur.”  When the money well started to dry up, she flipped the script and tried to become the victim again.  What’s going to happen this time?  A webcam page where people can pay money to see Farrah play with her terrible fake titties a la Octomom?  A girl on girl tape made with Courtney Stodden?  A one hour special on VH1 all about her inevitable vaginal rejuvenation surgery?

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