It's a little-known fact that rappers actually have a bullet injury quota to maintain, and if too much time passes without them getting shot, they're ordered to do the guest vocals on a Pussycat Dolls single. It's true.
Luckily, angry chub rapper Beanie Sigel doesn't have to worry too much this quota since he only got shot three months ago. At the time, Beanie Sigel claimed that he was shot in the shoulder trying to stop his car getting stolen. However, police are now pouring scorn on Beanie Sigel's story, partly based on the fact that he went on the radio and more or less admitted that he made the whole shebang up.
They say that being a trawlerman is one of the world's most dangerous jobs, but whoever said that obviously hadn't thought about rappers. It's one thing to go and catch some fish with a bloody great net, but do they ever get shot at by rival trawlermen for dissing them in a freestyle trawler battle? No they don't, and the list of rappers who have been shot lately proves how dangerous it is to shout a lot of words that rhyme over a rudimentary drum beat. Proof from D-12 was fatally shot this year, as was one of Busta Rhymes' bodyguards, while Obie Trice was shot in the head, Cam'ron was shot in the arms and Suge Knight probably shot himself in the legs.
And then, of course, there's Beanie Sigel. The story goes that, in May, Beanie Sigel was shot in the shoulder by a group of potential car-jackers. The police were already slightly dubious of Beanie Sigel's version of events, since – despite apparently taking place in a residential area – nobody saw or heard the shooting and no shell cases were found. Nor it is thought that Beanie Sigel was telling the truth about going to hospital alone, as CCTV footage shows Beanie accompanied by another man who he is seen possibly handing something to. Also, there's the small case of Beanie Sigel all but admitting that his whole story was a crock of shit during a recent radio interview:
"My getting shot and somebody robbing me! Negative. I am on federal parole, so I can't get into details, but give me another nine months and i will tell y'all exactly what the deal was."
Also, in time-honoured tradition, Beanie Sigel decided to premiere a track which seems a lot like it's about the time someone shot him. The lyrics go:
"You nigger popped/ You should have got me good/ Where I'm from it's understood/ If you grab hold of that smoke pole/ You better hold that shit with a chokehold/ Empty out quick then reload."
Well, we think it's about him getting shot; it's seems equally likely that the song is about Beanie Sigel giving someone advice about the best way to handle a poo. Anyway, all this talk by Beanie Sigel has annoyed the police even more. One of them told the Philadelphia Daily News:
"There's a million-and-one holes in his story. But because he's a rapper, he is not going to cooperate with police. It goes against everything he stands for."
So this stalemate means that we'll probably have to do as Beanie Sigel asks and wait for nine months before he tells us all exactly how he came to get shot in the shoulder. Obviously by the time nine months have passed, we'll have featured another 765,000 articles about rappers getting shot, so chances are nobody will care by then.
Read more:
Cops Don't Buy Beanie Story – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]