Pointless Omen Remake Out Today Because It’s 06/06/06
You'll be fully aware by now that today is June 6 2006, and that means only one thing – it's 483 years to the day since Gustav Vasa was elected King of Sweden! Hooray, everyone put your Gustav hats on!
Oh yeah, and it's also 06/06/06 – the day that the devil will rise from his fiery lair and destroy humanity forever in the most excruciating flesh-tearingly painful way imaginable. Either that or it's the day that a lame remake of The Omen – a vaguely scary film made a billion times less scary by a fleet of lousy sequels – gets pointlessly released. One or the other.
Once every hundred years, the date flips around to 06/06/06, and this date is usually marked worldwide by remaking a 30-year-old horror film in a rubbish way. On June 6 1906, the remade film was a mostly forgotten silent black and white movie called Mr Perciville's Lamentable Decorum, a film which was soon banned for its evil scenes of a man failing to tip his bowler hat to a woman. And on June 6 2006, The Omen remake has been released.
You'll know the plot of The Omen by now – there's a boy who does bad stuff until Gregory Peck goes cry cry at the end. And it's evil. And it's got something to do with the number 666, which is kind of like today's date, but without all the zeros and slashes – you know, the bits that actually make something a date and not just a set of numbers. And thanks to this ridiculous marketing strategy, the remake of The Omen comes out today to a deafening barrage of critical indifference. Here's what the critics have been saying about The Omen:
Wafflemovies says: "I think the release date of 6-6-06 is all the movie has going
for it as everything from story to mood to directing to acting stinks, and
not just stinks a little, but stinks at all time highs."
Associated Press says: "It isn't even scary. It's so similar to the original that we already know what's coming."
The Yahoo! Movie Mom says: "Characters drink and use some bad language. Some audience members may be disturbed or offended by the portrayal of some clergy and a devil child."
So it doesn't look like this version of The Omen is all that much cop. We'll just have to wait until June 6 2106 to see what the remake of the remake of The Omen is like. Oh, who are we kidding – it'll be crap.
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
