It’s an unwritten rule that when you gain celebrity status, you have the power and ability to do stuff that common low life scum can’t. If Kate Moss wanted to go shopping round some fancy overpriced designer store in privacy, people will quite happily fall over themselves to let her.
Hecklerspray, on the other hand, once rang Argos to see if we could get the full VIP treatment (the V stands for 'vaguely' in our case), but alas we were told to piss off by three various burly shop security guards with no necks. Still, Greggs were happy to give us unsold pasties for a quarter of the price they're normally sold for. Despite all this, we're no closer to convincing a museum to display our pants like pieces of art. Not like Kylie Minogue.
Literally anyone can become a celebrity these days, be it by claiming to have shagged an ex-England footballer or by coming off one of the million reality TV shows that plague our screens. But some celebrities have provided us with some worthwhile entertainment and Kylie Minogue is one of those people. And now you can be rewarded by looking at her pants quite close up.
Yes, that’s right, you can now unleash the stalker that’s always been lurking inside you and go down to the Victoria & Albert Museum in London to look at various stage outfits that Kylie has donned, from the early days of Neighbours in 1987 to those infamous hotpants that helped save her dodgy music career. Sex sells kids, remember that.
Over 200 pieces of Kylie gear has been donated for you to perv over look at, and to our amazement tickets are said to be selling well ahead of Thursday's opening. But why waste money on something when you can just tape Kylie's music videos off the telly and watch them repeatedly, pressing rewind and watching them again the instant they're finished? Maybe that’s just our tight-arsed approach, but it makes sense. Then again if you go to the V&A you have the privilege of smelling and running your sweaty fingers through Kylie's undergarments, an experience sadly unavailable to perverts watching the video to I Just Can't Get You Out Of My Head at home.
In, a statement that literally took seconds to prepare, Kylie described how she felt about the exhibition to BBC News:
“Honoured.”
So is this the new celebrity trend? We presume so. As whenever a winning money-spinning formula is created, other celebrities will soon follow. Expect to see the clothes that Richard Hammond crashed in, the lack of clothing that Jordan models in and the various syringes that Pete Doherty squirts blood at cameras with. If any PR companies out there would like to see what trendy gear the hecklerspray writers wear on a day-to-day to basis, give us a bag of cash and a sturdy table and we'll proudly show off our sweaty, beer-stained gear to the whole damn world.
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Pobetter says
Now Kylie’s done an exhibition of her clothes, how long will it be before Dannii copies the idea? It’ll no doubt be much the same, only instead of the V&A it’ll be held at a municipal carpark. At 3am. On a Wednesday
Muvver says
A pile of old clothes ??? Worn by some insignificant, but media friendly, pop star is a soulless exercise.What a waste of space in a museum.She as a person is so inarticulate, least engaging and downright nondescript.
I am with Germain Greer and James Gooding on Kylie Minogue.!! Not sure what Olivier Martinez really thinks of his ex but I am probably with him too.!!!!!!