Please Let Justin Bieber Get Thrown In The Clinker

Justin BieberJustin Bieber has started growing some pubes on his upper lip in an effort to distract us all from the fact that he still resembles a 16 year old lesbian on ‘roids. ?To really drive the point home that he is a man and a total bad ass, he also decided to attack his neighbor and vandalize his house. ?Show the annoying dude next door that he will not be disrespected. ‘CAUSE BIEBS IS A GROWN ASS MAN!

Except his idea of going hard is acting like a freshman on Halloween night and chucking some Eggland’s Best at his neighbor’s windows. ?Shit, why didn’t he just ding dong ditch on top of it? ?Maybe have a bunch of pizzas delivered that the dude didn’t actually order. ?Really drive home the point.?

As we all know, Justin Bieber is a terrible person to live in the same neighborhood as. ?In my opinion, he’s a terrible person in general, but that’s another blog. ?Bieber gives no fucks about children and speeds through the streets like he’s an extra in Fast and the Furious, he throws obnoxiously loud parties until the wee hours of the morning on Tuesdays, and he plays his own shitty music at an unacceptably loud volume (that last one is by far the worst offense). ?Because of his behavior, Bieber is definitely not a favorite in his richy rich gated community. ?And some of his property line buddies don’t try to pretend otherwise.

I guess it’s Justin’s time of the month, because the Prince of Pea Nipples decided to throw a bitch fit and vandalize his no fun having neighbor’s home. ?And like the mature gangsta boy that he is, he felt the best course of action was to cover the house in dead baby chicken fetuses. ?The neighbor caught Justin chucking cluck clucks and called the cops.

Now. considering the Biebs is rich and lucky as shit, the normal outcome of this would be a whole lot of nothing. ?The world hates poor people but loves those with mediocre talent and large bank accounts. ?But wait wait wait! ?Thanks to the world of smart phones, the neighbor decided to record him catching Bieber, and their argument. ?Which means maybe, justtttt maybe, Justin might actually get in some actual trouble.

Justin decided to post some ridiculously phony ass pictures with his younger siblings on Instagram afterwards, trying to look all non Problem Child.

Justin Bieber brother and sister

I like the one with his brother. ?I feel like Tiny Biebs is saying “Yup, his dick is thissss small!”

Allegedly, the police are looking to charge Bieber with a felony because the damages are over $400. ?Come on 2014, make this the best year ever!


  1. Nelani says

    (crosses fingers). PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let him be sent somewhere that his little white butt will be violated. Maybe then he will pull up his freaking pants!!!

  2. Cookie Monster says

    The real story is that Celine Dion is looking to retire. That can be done several ways, but obviously the simplest way is to have Bieber assume her identity while on-stage in Las Vegas.