Hold onto your hats, this is a first – Jennifer Aniston has shown a shred of dignity regarding her personal life!
We know, we’re shocked too. Maybe she’s taken a knock to the head or something. But, nevertheless, Jennifer Aniston has apparently turned down a $10million offer from Hugh Hefner to appear naked in Playboy.
Well, obviously that’s unless Angelina Jolie decides to pose naked for Playboy any time soon, because if she does then Jennifer Aniston is quite willing to ram an endoscope up her clodge and project the resulting images onto the surface of the moon. For free. Obviously.
Playboy has lost its sparkle lately, hasn’t it? Thanks to the internet, we’re all able to look at the naked breasts of literally any celebrity on Earth. Or, failing that, the head of any celebrity on Earth badly photoshopped onto a pair of naked breasts. Or, failing that, a horrifyingly detailed pencil drawing of any celebrity on Earth’s naked breasts as imagined by a clammy 50-year-old friendless virgin whose major aspiration in life is to become a dangerous stalker.
In summary, Playboy is redundant.
However, you’ve got to love Playboy for the way it refuses to admit defeat with its increasingly-desperate publicity stunts. First Playboy wanted Lindsay Lohan to get naked. Then, when it realised its mistake – nobody’s going to pay to see a something that they’ve already seen so often that the thought of it makes them feel a bit sick – Playboy changed targets and asked Miley Cyrus to be naked.
But, again, that was a misfire – people were not only repulsed by the idea of a naked 15-year-old girl, but there isn’t a man on the planet who’ll? admit to being aroused by anything that’s 50% Billy Ray Cyrus.
So Playboy has gone for one last roll of the dice – it wants Jennifer Aniston to get naked, and it’s willing to pay her $10million for it. But, guess what, Jennifer Aniston isn’t having any of it. MTV reports:
The 40-year-old was reportedly approached with the offer by magazine boss Hugh Hefner after her recent photo shoot for GQ in which she posed nude save for a well placed necktie. At the time the Playboy Boss remarked of the cover: “This looks like the cover of Playboy. I'm much impressed by Jennifer. Is it just me or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter?”
It might seem strange that Jennifer Aniston won’t get naked for Playboy when she was only just naked in GQ a few months ago, but that’d be failing to understand a simple truth – Jennifer Aniston will only get naked when a) she’s got a film coming out, b) she thinks that it’ll make Angelina Jolie remember all the sex she used to have with Brad Pitt and flinch like a baby eating a lemon or c) she hasn’t been in a celebrity magazine for upwards of 36 hours.
So it looks like we’ll just have to get used to the idea of a world without a naked Jennifer Aniston centrefold in Playboy. Shame. We’ll have to think of something else to plaster all over our front door to keep burglars away when we’re on holiday now.
Kim says
I love this!!!!!!! You are so right!!!
Lin says
Wow! You certainly have some issues. Everyone needs to give it a rest. She’s a beautiful woman who’s trying to live her life under a microscope. She’s been shown to have many, many people who are willing to step up to her defense. I’d say that speaks a lot to the kind of person she is. This woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.
Time to move on and find someone else to crush under your boot.
Laura says
So funny and so true!
Joke Police says
And the trolling of the Klu Klux Klaniston continues…
Nan says
Jen hasn’t got photos of herself letting a horse lick and nibble her boobs like Angelina does. She didn’t put photos of herself breastfeeding on a magazine cover like Angelina. She didn’t do heroin like Angelina. Etc. Etc. Etc. Jen has a life of her own – the tabloids and a few Brangeloonies think Jen’s jealous – but Jen has a GREAT body (not an anorexic one like Angelina), great teeth (not horse teeth like Angelina, a HIT MOVIE that is a BOX OFFICE SMASH(unlike Angelina, and didn’t have to get deliberately get pregnant to trap a man, like Angelina. Jen has been giving to charity for years WITHOUT calling a press conference about it (like Angelina does) Jen doesn’t lie about giving 1/3 of her income to charity – Angie’s the one who tells THAT lie.
Stop kissing the sluts ass and give Jen a break.
Kiva says
Nan,
The horse was not nibbling her boob; Jen showed more on GQ;Jen is a pothead(and smoker);Brad LOVES Angie’s body; how can you see Jen’s teeth around that massive chin?;Hello! WANTED!!!(and an Oscar);she didn’t have to trap a man she already had;Love Jen’s St. Jude’s commercials;Listed last year on FOXNEWS as one of the most charitable celebs—she gave more than 1/3. SUCK IT!!!!!
Joke Police says
“Hello! WANTED!!!”
My comment of the year so far.
With “The horse was not nibbling her boob” not far behind.
Julian Mentat says
>> “The horse was not nibbling her boob
Canuck says
So…would it have been ok for her to pose nude for Playboy if she was giving the 10 million to charity then?
Or should she wait to have kids and sell their images for charity money instead?
Anyways, I don’t see what the big deal about getting naked for a magazine cover or a film is. Half the actresses out there would have no problem with it (just to make Joke Police happy, I’ll point out that Angelina has been naked in several of her films and naked/half naked pix of her are not hard to come by on the internet), and the other half are either wishing they were well known enough that someone would ask them, or wishing they had done it when they were young enough.
Joke Police says
Naked pix available on the internet? WHAT!?
I better get to work.
Canuck says
Slacker ;)
SCOTSGIRL says
ARE YOU ON JOLIE’S PAYROLL YOU MORON.
ANISTON HAS CARRIED HERSELF WITH A HUGE AMOUNT OF CLASS AND DIGNITY. SHE IS WELL RESPECTED AMONGST HER PEERS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR JOLIE.
ANISTON WON’T SELL HER BODY PARTS IN A MAG LIKE JOLIE SELLS HER CHILDRENS PHOTOS.
YOU PIG.
Kiva says
Scotsgirl,
How much class and dignity was displayed on the cover of GQ?
BR says
Scorsgirl you and Aniston are a JOKE.
Aniston is a prostitute, she sold her body for a box office movie.
Canuck says
Geez, does that make Brangelina child traffickers then? They sold pix of their kids for cash.
Jenfraud says
Really, I have been saying all along she is ripe for PLAYBOY. And she says GQ is “art”? WTF! LOL!! My little dear, naked is naked. You posed NAKED to sell a DOG movie! Oh and got tons of money just like PROSTITUTE that you are. She is such low class she can’t even compare to the MOTHER of Brad’s children, who gives not only her money but TIME and EFFORT in helping the needy. “I always want children” my ass, Aniston. Where the hell are they? Your lies are so transparent it’s embarrassing.
Another movie coming out, another break-up rumor. The usual MO of PR relationship engineered by FRAUD Aniston and her PR firm CAA. This fakeness, complete dishonesty and disrespect of life, got Brad running away from this pathetic woman. Now he got the big family, real partnership with the woman who loves him for real. Well done, Brad.
Joke Police says
“You posed NAKED to sell a DOG movie!”
that’s gotta sting
Canuck says
Jenfraud: I think it’s hilarious that you are ranting about one magazine cover showing skin but no bits that might shock making JA a “prostitute” while holding up AJ as a “saintly (unwed, btw) mother”. Ms. Jolie been naked in about half the films she has made. I’m sure she got tons of money to do so as well. Naked is naked, right? Don’t you think that would make you kind of a first class hypocrite?
Canuck says
“that
a man says
If anyone agrees with this pathetic trash unworthy of a British tabloid, intelligent people will seriously question your readership.
The very fact that youre a male makes me wonder quite how little testosterone the average guy has these days, that you are repulsed by, historically, the most beautiful celebrity in the world.
Address your lack of masculinity in private, please.