Just gonna go ahead and give you a heads up before you get into this, but I’m mega tired and this might get incoherent and weird. Anyway, onto sadder news, a man I was 100% sure would never die has actually died. As the title of this blog suggests, I’m clearly talking about Hugh Hefner.
Hugh was a fucking legend and basically lived the heterosexual male dream life. He was rich, his own boss, self-made, constantly surrounded by beautiful half-naked (and naked) women, had a loving family, and more girlfriends than I could count at some points. I’d say he’s in a better place now, but could heaven really be any better than the life this guy lead?
Hef was 91 and fucking bitches younger than me (I’m 31) right up until the end. And before you comment “Krysta, isn’t your bitch ass an angry feminist? What’re you doing mourning Hugh Hefner?” I’ll have you know I love Playboy and Hugh Hefner. Always have. He was an amazing activist for women and minorities across the board and let women express their sexuality and enjoy their own nudity in a safe place where they were praised and adored.
Plus have you ever looked at some Playboy’s from the 60s and 70s? Those things are straight up art. I gave my high school boyfriend a vintage Playboy calendar for Christmas back in like 2002 and I’ve always wished I’d kept it for myself because there were some real framers in that thing.
Other than Holly Madison’s scorned ass (who the fuck names their kid Rainbow? Go fuck yourself, Holly Madison. You were my least favorite Girl Next Door!), everyone who’s ever met Hef has had nothing but positive stuff to say about the guy, so, yes, this is a sad day, because even though he wasn’t a Hollywood movie star, Hugh Hefner was still a Hollywood icon and all around cool guy, so here’s hoping he’s in heaven taking some sweet nude pics of Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield.