Play Britney Spears’ Mental New Contest

Competitions are usually rubbish.

You know the score - pointless Readers-Digest style raffles in which your chances of winning are about the same as James Blunt writing a thrash-metal anthem called Fuck The Handicapped. Or something.

You know what would make every competition about a million times better, though? If it was organised by a madwoman who liked shaving her head and pretending to be the Antichrist, that's what. And - joy of joys - it looks like that day is upon us.

Britney Spears, boys and girls, is setting you a challenge.

Britney has got a bit sick of being hounded by the paparazzi, you see, and in a ill-thought out marketing ploy nigh-on swiftian satirical subversion, she's asking her fans to take part in all sorts of cheeky photo-related antics.

The competition has been arranged to promote Britney Spears' brand new fragrance Midnight Fantasy (quite what Britter's real-life Midnight Fantasy is remains unknown… probably some far-fetched dream of obtaining even a base level of credibility or talent, we expect).

In order to win a Britney-signed iPod - kind of like wanting to win some Michael Barrymore-signed swimming trunks - prospective contestants must 'sneak up on their friends and photograph them.'

Britney explains further:

"Share what happens to you when the clock strikes 12… Where are you? Who is with you? Savour every last detail and when you think you have it down, recreate that perfect moment and capture it as best you can in a digital photograph."

She was also hasty to add: 

''No images containing nudity, obscenity or violent depictions are permitted."

Damn - there goes hecklerspray's great idea about hitting one of our mates on the head with a stack of Sluts In Uniform back issues, then.

In fact, we're so disheartened that we've set up our own competition. You'll probably have noticed by now that hecklerspray has won a Metro Best Of British Blog Award - an achievement which officially makes us better than Mother Teresa and Jesus combined.

Competition rules, then. We want you to take the best pic of yerself clutching a piece of paper bearing the words 'Well Done, You Hecklerspray Legends.' Email it over to us and the winner - deemed by intensely scientific methods, we can assure you -  will find themselves receiving a very, very special and expensive prize.*

So what are you folks waiting for?

Read More:

Spears Stages Photo Contest - Breaking News    

*The winner will in no way receive a very, very special and expensive prize. But a prize nonetheless. Possibly.