Plan 9 From Out Of Space: The Needless Remake
Not content with ruining films we love with pointless remakes, Hollywood now wants to make one of the worst films ever made even crapper.
Dubbed the ‘worst movie of all time’ by many critics, Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space is set to remade by filmmaker John Johnson.
Worse still, he claims he wants to create a ‘character-driven, serious-minded retelling of the original story, paying homage to the spirit of Wood’s film without resorting to camp or parody’.
What!?! Hecklerspray would love to see that. We have always wanted to know exactly what Ghoul Man’s, Vampire Girl’s and Patrolman Larry’s motivations were throughout this film. We suppose the first question is why they decided to be in the original pile of shit movie in the first place.
Obviously, John Johnson is either clinically insane, making a joke, or a man who likes a serious challenge. If it’s a challenge, does he enjoy trying to polish turds? What’s his next challenge? Knitting with fog?
Take away the campness from Plan 9 From Outer Space and there is nothing left. Well, apart from the morbid curiosity of watching a film dubbed ‘the worst-ever’.
Which, of course, it isn’t. In fact, we would rather watch Plan 9 back-to-back while vultures pick at our flesh for year than watch a second of Pearl Harbor again.
Anyway, what is the point of remaking a film that has already been given as much credence and credibility it could ever have by Tim Burton’s brilliant biopic of the great man?
Still, it’ll probably be better than the Psycho remake.

Shit, not even shit is sacred to those damn Yanks.
That’s sacrilege. I’m morally opposed to a remake.