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Now, you probably read that headline and thought "What? Brad Pitt still loves Jennifer Aniston? Even after Brad ran off with her out of Tomb Raider and Jennifer complained about it on TV for a year?"
So we have a small admission to make – Brad Pitt doesn't still love Jennifer Aniston, as far as we know. But Brad Pitt isn't the only Pitt in the world – his mother is also a Pitt. And it's Brad Pitt's mother, Jane Pitt, who is still in love with Jennifer Aniston. And she loves her so much that they still talk on the phone every week. Aaah.
It seems like light years ago since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were together, doesn't it? So much has happened to both Brad and Jennifer since then – the wedding rumours, the wedding no-shows, the sick, twisted Bermuda Triangles, the pregnancy, the cabbage-y Parisian apartments, the dinosaur museums – that it really seems like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are finally history.
Maybe someone should tell that to Brad Pitt's Mum, then. Jane Pitt, it has been reported, just can't let go of Jennifer Aniston. Star magazine recently interviewed Brad Pitt's brother Doug – Pitt The Younger, if you will – who couldn't help yakking all about the way Jane Pitt still speaks to Jennifer Aniston on the phone every single week, and all the headaches it's causing Brad Pitt:
"Brad is not happy about Mom talking to Jennifer. He
feels that Mom should move on now, and cut the link that was there. But
she is in a difficult position – she has great affection for Jennifer – born out of the fact Brad once loved her and did marry her."
Maybe there's a way around this for Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Jane Pitt. Perhaps Jennifer Aniston can construct some kind of elaborate face mould in order to make an Aniston mask that Angelina Jolie can wear every few weeks so that Jane Pitt can talk to Jolie while fooling her brain into thinking that she is really Aniston. That way, Jennifer Aniston can back out quietly, Angelina Jolie can sidle her way into Jane Pitt's life in the same way that Jennifer did, Jane Pitt still thinks she talking to Jennifer, and Brad Pitt can have a lot less headaches.
Well, it's either that or Brad tries to ween his Mum off Jennifer Aniston by forcing her to watch all of the recent Aniston movies. That'd be enough to turn anyone off Jennifer for life.
[story by Stuart Heritage]