For all the Phil Spector murder trial shenanigans, nobody has really tried to explain why Phil Spector allegedly shot Lana Clarkson in the mouth, although that’s because most people assumed that she laughed at his hair and he got angry.

Not so, says the case’s lead investigator Detective Mark Lillienfeld. Lillienfeld is convinced that Lana Clarkson’s death was sexually motivated, thanks to subtle clues at the crime scene like the dress that Lana Clarkson was wearing, the false eyelashes left on the candlelit fireside next to the brandy snifters and the fact that Phil Spector had a two-thirds empty packet of Viagra in his suitcase. That’s just what we needed – as if the mental image of a tiny man in a lesbian wig shooting a woman in the mouth wasn’t disturbing enough, now we have to deal with the mental image of a tiny man in a lesbian wig shooting a woman in the mouth with a medically-assisted hard-on. Lovely.