Before you all reach for your pens and start scribbling uplifting heroin-influenced poems and sonnets on the side of your KFC family bucket, we must point out that Pete Doherty hasn’t joined forces with Colonel Sanders.

We are sad to say that as yet there's been no endorsement between fast food retailers and dirty-looking indie types. To anyone who automatically believes that KFC conjures up images of greasy chicken and workers who don’t know what they're doing, there is in fact another KFC out there.

KFC Uerdingen, to be precise, are a cash-strapped German lower league football club. But instead of asking the bank for help, they’ve decided that Pete Doherty would be more useful.

Though it can be argued that Spider-Man, Batman or the Sandman could have been a better choice. 

So, why would a vaguely famous singer songwriter/ drug addict/ prison-dodger be wanted to help a German football team that hardly anyone knows about? Let’s face it; we only know a handful of facts about Germany. It was somehow involved in a few wars, it likes sausages and it has funny names for things. How does a musician fare in all of this?

After a brief bit of investigation, it came to our attention that Pete Doherty was a fan of KFC when he lived in Germany as a child, presumably in a more sober state then he is now. As NME reports, discussions between the two parties have been underway to make this odd arrangement happen:

The singer’s manager, Adrian Hunter, confirmed that the club have approached Doherty about calling at the stadium during the band’s European tour next week, indicating that the star would help out if he had the time.  

While every girl will hear this and say “Aww Pete is so kind, his heart is just filled with love and kindness. He only wants to help people and make them happy. How can you write such horrible things about him?” we just want to ask one question: What exactly will his presence bring to help the cause?

Maybe he can donate a sneaky supply of drugs to the players to help them develop some sort of superpower that will speed them up the league as their fans jump and shout in a state of pure ecstasy. Thus, more people will attend the games and more money will be generated.

Or, more realistically, he’ll stand on top of a bus, do a drab acoustic number and fuck off back to the Albion or whatever he calls home these days. Up the KFC!  

Read more:

Pete Doherty called on to rescue troubled football club – NME