Have you ever wished that Pete Doherty was as good at writing good songs that people can remember as he is at getting his flabby, pasty, yellowish Hale & Pace mush into trouble with the law at any given moment in time.

We have mixed feelings on the issue. On the one hand, if Pete Doherty showed the even half the amount of talent for songwriting as being tediously in court all the time, the songs he’d write would bring an end to global unhappiness in a fingerclick. On the other hand we sort of like the current set-up, because we can enjoy Pete Doherty for being a mighty nobsack and we don’t have to spend any money on his rubbish CDs. Anyway, yesterday Pete Doherty was in court where he was fined £750 for doing some lousy martial arts on a BBC reporter, breaking her microphone and hurting her hand.