Pasty-faced waste of flesh Pete Doherty has mounted the lunacy highway afresh after comparing himself to jovial dead Beatle John Lennon.

Speaking to a group of reporters after a show at an Austrian Porn Club – my, a porn club, that’s so unconventional and daring that hecklerspray fears our heads may explode – Pete Doherty took time out from his musically-illiterate schedule to announce the comparison. He babbled:

“The new Lennon — I like that. Honestly, I am the most important rock star now.”

It’s always good to be set right, isn’t it? Honestly – there we were, thinking that progressive and genuinely interesting acts such as The Arcade Fire, My Latest Novel and Sufjan Stevens were the supposed future of intellectually-leaning pop music.

But no – apparently we need look no further than Pete Doherty – a tone-deaf junkie whose main claims to fame are a) being in an okay little band who released two reasonable-at-best albums, b) sticking a variety of needles into his crushingly pointless arms and c) shagging a woman so vacuous she probably bleeds nail varnish.

As if this ludicrous comparison wasn’t strange enough – although Lennon did also share the common trait of being a hugely overrated egotist who shambled through a ‘career’ long after his most important work had been done – Pete Doherty then also ventured into the arena of bald-faced lies:

“And you will hear lots of great songs from me in the near future.”

Presumably on the same day Stephen Hawking goes to work on a moped.

Although – wait! What’s that hecklerspray hears? Wonderfully composed, shambling yet melodic off-kilter chiming guitar pop of the most fantastic nature? Is this an epiphany? Have we had Babyshambles wrong all this time?

Sorry… no. That’s the new Vines album we’re playing.

Guess Pete’s still rubbish, then…

Read More:

Pete Doherty: I’m The New John Lennon – Gigwise

[story by C J Davies]