The relationship between Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande has really been the gift that keeps on giving for me this summer. It’s just weird enough to work, and, more importantly, it’s just weird enough for me to constantly have bloggable material.
Pete recently did a sit down interview at some university (yes, I realize it would take me 10 seconds to Google this, but I think we all know my journalism is lazy af), and once again blessed us with some thought provoking insight into the complexities of his relationship with Ariana.
As you might recall, Pete confirmed his engagement to Ariana on Jimmy Fallon, and did so in a manner that put Shakespeare himself to shame. Hallmark prepared it’s new line of romance cards after Pete so eloquently proclaimed that being engaged to Ariana was “so sick” and “fucking lit.”
After Pete signed a contract with Adele to co-write some love songs, because he CLEARLY knows the language of love unlike any other, he gave another interview, and once again spoke of his relationship in language so lovely, Vladimir Nabokov was SHOOK in his grave. Pete said:
What’s it like being engaged to Ariana? It’s like what you would think it would be like but like a 100 times sicker. I’m a very, very happy boy who is very, very loved and I’m very lucky. And my dick’s forever hard.
Honestly, fuck Bob Dylan. Fuck Jim Morrison. Fuck Kendrick Lamar. America has found it’s new greatest pop culture poet and it is Pete fucking Davidson.
Did we need to know that Ariana Grande gives Pete Davidson potentially dangerous amounts of boners? We did not. But are our lives better now that we know? I honestly have no idea. I mean, kind of? Pete Davidson looks like a mix between young a Steve Buscemi and Machine Gun Kelly, and he talks like a disgruntled frat boy who randomly got engaged to Ariana Grande. Yet, somehow, I still like him? True poets are mysterious like that, I guess.