PETA's a little strange isn't it? If it likes you it'll name you the sexiest man alive like Prince, or it'll let you stand completely naked in a shop window like Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock.

If it doesn't like you though, you could be in for a rough patch – Beyonce Knowles knows. It wasn't so long ago PETA members ambushed her in a restaurant and made her look at a video of barking puppies having their fluffy skin pulled off and knitted into very fashionable mittens right before their very eyes. Or something like that. We assume that it didn't sit well with the former Destiny's Child songstress, though, as she later had her moral attackers painfully killed behind the building. Or escorted out we meant. We meant she had them escorted out and they're all still extremely alive.

PETA's up in arms against Knowles again, this time for the unthinkable way in which she man-handled a urinating alligator. Apparently the creature's severe bladder leak wasn't part of the pre-arranged choreography.

Beyonce had a photo-shoot for her forthcoming album recently in which she had to sexily hold a baby alligator. Obviously, it'd be difficult to sexily hold anything that's recently ripped off your ear with clenched teeth, so Knowles came up with a prevention plan – tape the creatures mouth shut. She said it didn't go quite as planned:

"There was a shot where I held a baby alligator. It had its mouth taped – that was my bright idea. He was really cute, but since his mouth was taped he didn't have any way to defend himself. He was upset so he peed on me."

Yes, yes animal pee on Beyonce is sexy, we know, but PETA didn't get it at all. It's more concerned about the animal's state of mind than anything. Doesn't it know animals don't have feelings? That's why they let us eat them and club their babies!

Getting back on topic – PETA heard about the lizardy mouth-taping and contacted a British Reptile Expert to dig up some kind of horrible animal related consequence to the singer's actions.  They found it – lizard loving expert Clifford Warwick said:

"Humans and alligators are not natural bedfellows, and the two should not mix at events such as photo shoots. In my view, doing so is arguably abusive to an animal.  Animals shouldn't be held in their predators' arms for protracted periods of time while being stripped of all defences."

We'd have liked to see the expert add:

"If said mouth-taped alligator were to have fully-extended pocket knives securely tied to it's extremities, and said alligator were taught to make stabby motions as it liked, then said mouth-taped alligator would be deemed as still having defenses, and could be allowed to have it's fleshy beak temporarily sealed for any and all photographic purposes."

We mean really, ya gotta give celebrities something to work with here.

Read more:

Beyonce Animal Abuse – AntiMusic

[story by Shawn Lindseth]