If awards season is a family then the Oscars are obviously the father and the Golden Globes are the slightly tarty aunt who your Mum never really gets on with.

And the People’s Choice Awards? Well, the People’s Choice Awards are the annoying shit-thick brat of a crosseyed kid who needs to be constantly dosed up to the wazoo on Ritalin to stop him from crapping on the rug, cutting his own hair with the electric carver or flushing the dog down the toilet.

How do we know this? Because at the People’s Choice Awards last night Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 won Best Film. Even though it was obviously awful.