People Genuinely Want To Kill Sacked Apprentice Posho

For all the talk of enterprise and skill-sets, it's no secret that people only watch The Apprentice because all the contestants are awful, awful tosspots.

And this year the level of Apprentice awfulness seems to be higher than ever. So awful, in fact, that the first Apprentice reject Nicholas De Lacy-Brown claims to have received death threats from angry viewers.

Now, while we only have Nicholas De Lacy-Brown's word on this - and the man honestly seems like such a bimbling twat that he'd molest his own granny if it got him some headlines - we can't help but wish it was true. After all, if you're going to send death threats to someone, what better reason is there than because they briefly underestimated the wholesale price of lobster? We hear that that's how Salman Rushdie got his fatwa, too.

The Apprentice is the epitome of watercooler television, in that anyone with even the merest scrap of common sense would like nothing more than to burst into the boardroom with a full five-gallon bubbletop watercooler bottle strapped to each wrist so they can run around windwilling their arms about and indiscriminately bludgeoning every last gormless, self-satisfied face there into unconsciousness - except for Nick and Margaret, obviously. You'd need them to take notes on your performance.

This year's Apprentice is certainly no exception. In fact, this year's Apprentice candidates seem even more drastically unpleasant than their initial introductions suggested. Strutting, over-confident, given to making self-promotional statements so alarming that they make Tom Cruise look like the shivering dog from the Volkswagen Polo advert - the sort of people who'd look like dreadful failures if they only committed themselves 100% to a project rather than 110% or 150%.

And, since he was the first of this year's contestants to be fired from The Apprentice, that makes Nicholas De Lacy-Brown the biggest clown of the lot of them. On last week's The Apprentice Nicholas was ostensibly fired because he sold some lobsters cheaper than they should have been sold for. But that's probably not the real reason for his sacking, though.

No, in actual fact there were four real reasons why Nicholas De Lacy-Brown was fired from The Apprentice: 1) He's an unbearably overprivileged posho, and Alan Sugar hates them, 2) he doesn't like football and Alan Sugar does like football, 3) he has a shit little clump of facial hair perched under his bottom lip when Alan Sugar knows that a beard's only a beard when it covers two thirds of your face like an outbreak of grimy mildew and 4) people would generally rather an afternoon rolling around in herpes than talk to him. 

But although the first candidate to be fired from The Apprentice is usually forgotten about within minutes, Nicholas De Lacy-Brown seems to really caught the public's imagination. The public's imagination for sending terrifying death threats, that is. Digital Spy reports:

Apprentice star Nicholas De Lacy Brown has received death threats from fans of the show. "People have sent me messages saying they want to kill or injure me," Nicholas told the Daily Star Sunday. "One read something like: 'If I see you, I'll hurt you'." However, Nicholas has remained defiant and insisted that he will not be affected by the threatening messages. "The abuse I have had does not bother me," he said. "I have had some supportive emails too. I take it all as a compliment. They think they can push me down with this abuse but all it does is pump me up. I realised soon after the show started that it was not for me - it was just such hard work."

As scary as these alleged death threats are, Nicholas De Lacy-Brown probably shouldn't worry too much about them. After all, by Wednesday night everyone will be concentrating on whoever the next person to get fired from The Apprentice is and he can go back to being a thunderingly anonymous halfwit again.

But perhaps the death threat is the new way for Apprentice candidates to grade their worth. For instance, a few mealy-mouthed comments on the internet is OK, but not as good as actual face-to-face-death threats in the street. This way the winner of The Apprentice would be the person who had the most terrifying death threat made against them. The obvious problem with this is that Yoko Ono would win The Apprentice every year if that was the case, but we're sure there's a workaround.

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'Apprentice' reject receives death threats - Digital Spy