Tsk Tsk, Pauly D. Everyone knows the rules you and the other bros from the Jersey Shore tried to follow when banging chicks. No grenades, get your GTL game up, and when you find a girl DTF- get your smoosh on. Of course there were times you went off the grid and hooked up with a landmine or two, but there was one unspoken rule that I thought you knew better than to break- No glove, no love!
Last summer while DJing in Vegas, Pauly D broke the cardinal rule of one night stands and meaningless sex by doing it with some random chick without fully protecting himself. He probably didn’t even catch her name, but she did manage to catch his sperm in her uterus, and 9 months later there is another Shore spawn on this earth.
Now Pauly is not only actively trying to be a part of this baby’s life, he is actually taking the baby mama to court for full custodial rights because he thinks he is the more fit parent. Ohhhh buddy.
So the result of the one night stand is an adorable baby girl named Amabella, which looks like a typo but is not. The 5 month old lives with her mother, Amanda Markert, who was a VIP Hooters girl when she met the future father of her daughter.
The two locked beer goggled eyes while at a Rehab pool party in the famous Hard Rock Hotel and within hours Pauly had Amanda doing the Jersey Turnpike in his room. Months later when Pauly learned he was supposedly a dad to be, he was smart enough to get a paternity test first before claiming responsibility. Once it was official that the funniest JS cast member was in fact the biological daddy, it was apparently time for war.
Pauly has filed court documents requesting full custody of Amabella, which is actually kind of shocking. For a guy who lives for booze and broads, it is surprising that he would want the responsibility of caring for a child full time instead of just sending monthly checks and getting her for a weekend or two every month.
But it seems it’s not just that he wants to take care of his daughter, but he also feels the mother is a hot mess that isn’t well equipped to raise Amabella. If a Jersey Shore lunk says that you are the fucked up one, that is really sad.
However, if you look at the reasons Pauly lists in the legal docs, it kind of seems like reaching. Some of the examples he is using to prove his point are the fact that Amanda was a Hooters waitress and that Amabella is her second child. So, apparently having a baby out of wedlock that you take care of by working for a chain restaurant makes you totally incapable of being a capable mother.
This coming from the guy who resembles a leathery Dorito and is most famous for a reality show that somehow managed to make New Jersey seem even shitter than we already all knew it to be.
Pauly D also wants the Nevada court system to deal with the custody battle, versus New Jersey where, ironically, baby mama is from. Even though he would end up paying more money in child support if that happens, he is also much more likely to get custodial rights.
Pauly is gunning for full custody but he would settle for joint, and it is much more plausible for that to happen if he gets his way. Plus, Pauly lives in Vegas now and doesn’t want to have to fly to Jersey all the time for court, because really, who wants to have to go to Jersey anymore than they have to?
In the words of Mike Sorrentino, “I think we got a situation here…”