Here Comes the Inevitable Paula Deen Porno Offer

Share this:

paula deenRule 34‘ of the internet states that if it exists, there’s porn of it. As it turns out, that rule is including, but no limited to, racist elderly chefs that go by the name Paula Deen

It’s been just under two weeks since the ‘N’ bomb dropped, and a porn company has turned up right on schedule to throw a six-figure deal on the table. All of her regular business partners dropped her like a hot potato when it turned out she was a just another old-timer with a fondness for racial slurs, so this seems like a pretty valid career move for her.

A website called PureMature.com who specialize in – you guessed it – mature women of the MILF variety, have sent the 66-year old disgraced chef’s camp a letter offering a whole six-figures for Paula to get down and dirty…or not. In their own words:

“Full figured or thin, arthritic or diabetic—you embody our perfect spokesperson… 6 figures for very little work.”

Diabetic? Is there a niche market for people who get their kicks watching women take insulin shots? Well, like I said, Rule 34. Pure Mature haven’t said what they want Paula to do or whether it will involve butter, but they have told her that there’s no nudity required, which is bad news to anyone out there that was hoping to see her fried Twinkie.

paula-deen-holding-chickenNo word on if she’ll accept the offer or not, but she might want to seriously think it over. Since she admitted to using the ‘N’ word in a deposition, the Food Network have ended her 11 year old stint without so much as a ‘don’t let the doorknob hit you on the way out’, QVC have reconsidered selling her pans, Smithfield foods have stopped selling her line of  hams and Walmart have axed their Deen-themed restaurants.

But on the bright side, think of how many food-themed puns could be used in the title of her skin-flick debut!

 

 

Headline Name: Email: subscribed: 0 We respect your privacy Email Marketingby GetResponse

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>