Paula Abdul’s Dream is Everyone Else’s Nightmare

Paula AbdulProof supporting the commonly-held belief that Paula Abdul is insane was provided in spades on?last night’s?Dancing With The Stars. The wacky singer/dancer/music competition judge performed a bizarre medley of her 80s-era hits that left those of us old enough to actually remember those songs flushed with a confusing mixture of horror and unwelcome nostalgia.?

The?highly produced and highly strange performance was staged to what Paula dubbed her?”Dream Medley,”?a remix/compilation of four of her #1 hits: “Forever Your Girl,” “Opposites Attract,” “Cold-Hearted Snake,” and “Straight Up.” Paula said of her performance:

“This was a concept I had wanted to?do for? years. I call it the dream medley because anything can happen in a dream, and?this is Paula’s dream so anything does happen.”

While referring to one’s self in the third person is never a good sign, it’s lovely to think that Paula, who?seems pretty sweet if also quite loony, can realize her dream. The sad thing is that her dream is so outdated, not to say tacky.

The show included impressive, if largely pointless, technical aspects including video screen backdrops, which Paula danced both in front and on top of. She didn’t sing live and many elements of the performance were pre-recorded, but, at the very least, it had a lot of energy. And Paula is still an amazing dancer … remarkably spry for a fifty-year old.

The best part of the performance was the seemingly random?images that appeared out of nowhere,?including a triceratops chased by some puppies, sheet music ciricling around flames, great big people and tiny little people, and a giant Maksim Chmerkovsiy whom Paula batted off stage. Paula even managed to work in MC Skat Kat, her animated co-star from?her ridiculous “Opposites Attract” video. Prior to the performance, she teased:

“Someone is coming out of retirement. … I’ve been rehearsing with him, and I can’t understand his dance moves. He’s all over the place. I told him he needs to get some rhythm because I can’t keep up.”

Yes,?Paula is hilarious, mostly when she doesn’t mean to be,?and she?is clearly a talented woman … though her talent may lie in areas that don’t necessarily make much sense to most of the world. Hopefully now that?this dream has come true for her, she can perhaps jump ahead a few decades and, as a favor to us all, put DJ Skat Kat out of his misery for good.

Paula Abdul on DWTS