Paul W Anderson To Direct Another Awful Film
Then buzz it up
November 4th, 2005 at 14:30 by C J Davies
Sweet baby Jesus.
Anyone out there remember Castlevania - that classic 1980s videogame that (despite your fond memories of it) would probably prove to be a little bit crap if you tried playing it now?
You probably won’t be surprised that - what with the Doom/Halo-fuelled resurgence in turning thumb-twiddling console games into big-budget blockbusters - plans are afoot to bring this vampire-killing hokum to the big screen.
Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Sounds absolutely teeth-grindingly cack on every level imaginable, right?
Oh, dear hecklers. You don’t know the half of it…
In a move that can only be described as ‘ungodly’, production company Crystal Sky have announced that they want none other than Paul W. Anderson (DVDs) to slip on the director’s cap for Castlevania.
That’s the Paul W. Anderson behind Event Horizon. And Resident Evil. And Aliens Vs. Predator. In short, the Worst Film Director In The History Of The Whole Wide Universe.
Of course, this isn’t bad news for everybody. We expect that any emotionally-stunted fourteen-year-old boys who like slow-motion gunfights and semi-naked ladies (although they get a bit uneasy if they … you know… have to actually talk to one) will be getting very excited over the news.
The rest of us will simply resume our weeping.
Read More:
Dracula Ready For Close-up - Variety
[story by C J Davies]
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November 4th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
I am positively struggling to find a fault with semi naked ladies on film.
And I thought Event Horizon was quite a good film. I watched it once whilst very “still drunk from the night before” with Nirvana’s Rape Me playing in the background. That messed up my head for a few months.
June 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
The only game that was succesful on big screen was Mortal Kombat from him. I thought it was great, personaly. He actualy concerntrated more on the games story and characters. The only dissapointment was the other games he adapted to film were the Resident Evil trilogy. When I watched them I was realy bored. I’d probly give the 2nd film 3 stars but thats it. The characters were not the same and the stroy was pathetic from all 3. Nothing like the games. The only simialrity was the Nemesis and some monsters. So I don’t realy know wether to agree or disagree to this game adaption, I’ll have to see it. He realy needs to focus on the games actual story and characters.