When it comes to getting a gang of dreadful personality-free cockmunches to sing on vaguely low-rent TV shows, Simon Cowell is undoubtedly a world leader.

But it’s fair to say that Simon Cowell should never ever be allowed to even think about making movies for a second. Not even for a second. He should be forced to wear high-voltage electrodes or an exploding neck collar just to stop him thinking about making movies.

We’re basing this assessment on one thing and one thing alone here – Simon Cowell is going to make a biopic based on the life of Britain’s Got Talent winner Paul Potts. Someone find us the number of a reputable exploding neck collar salesman quick.