It may well be out of character for hecklerspray to be genuine twice in a day, but Paul Newman is a better reason than any to break with tradition.

The 83-year-old has reportedly been told he has weeks to live following chemotherapy treatment for lung cancer and, when confronted with the news, he told doctors he wanted to die at home.

Just as he has proven time and time again through his long life, Paul Newman is nothing less than a man’s man – dictating where death is allowed to get its slimy mitts on him.

While we did all hope that Newman would crack a pool cue over cancer’s back, it would appear that the insidious little bastard of a disease has managed to one-up Butch Cassidy.

While we hope to God, Allah, Buddah, Xenu and everyone else in-between that the reports are as inaccurate as the ones saying Bernie Mac was healthy, recent images of Newman have left us with little hope, showing the legend looking weak and frail – a shell of the man we at hecklerspray have a real love for.

The love we spread around for the marinade king isn’t the kind you would normally get on hearing a legend – and be in no doubt that Paul Newman is anything but a legend – is on their way out, or has recently died. No, hecklerspray has constantly sung the praises of one of the greatest actors the world has ever seen.

We reckoned he was involved in one of the best scenes with one of the top ten movie assassins.

We pointed out his involvement in one of the top ten sports movies of all time.

And we obviously included his turn as a part of one of the top ten movie heists of all time.

Never let it be said we had anything other than utter admiration for the man.

Speaking to the Daily Mail, a friend of the family said:

“He didn’t want to die in the hospital. Joanne and his daughters are beside themselves with grief.”

The source heartbreakingly went on:

“The sudden move angered his children. It’s especially hard for them to come to grips with what’s going on. The word they’ve been given is that he has only a few weeks to live.”

It’s not often we’re lost for words but – well, we pretty much are now. Paul has apparently spent the last few weeks making sure his business and personal affairs are in order, as well as giving away his prized Ferarri to a friend. Not hecklerspray, unfortunately, but we’re not going to complain. Much.

It really has been something of a shitty few days for entertainment news – Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both suddenly passing away over the weekend, and now the apparent impending death of one of the true greats of cinema. And you wonder why we’re so pissed off all the time.

We are hoping that the reports are fabricated, but if not: make your final marinades Paul – you will be missed. We have used the word a few times already in this post, but here we go again: the man is a legend.

And he makes chicken taste gooooood.