Now, we know it's Monday morning, which is why we're warning you of potentially stomach-turning news – 65-year-old Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger, the endlessly annoying star of Bridget Jones, might start doing it soon.
Reports are rife this morning that Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger enjoyed a romantic candlelit meal together last week just days after meeting at a concert. Nobody is suggesting that McCartney and Zellweger are a couple just yet, though, but you have to admit that they share a lot of qualities in common – Renee Zellweger likes dating musicians, Paul McCartney likes dating women young enough to be his daughter and the two of them will no doubt spend plenty of time in the future bonding over how phenomenally crap they are at getting married to people who aren't wankers.
The world is full of bizarrely mismatched celebrity couples – Christian Slater and Sharon Stone and Mel B and Eddie Murphy were the two previous standard-bearers – but we should really hand it to Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger for potentially becoming a couple so unexpected that people can't help but involuntarily vom up into their mouths a little when they hear about it.
It's the age-old story – boy meets girl, boy takes girl out for dinner a week later and nothing else happens even though everyone suspects that it might – but you have to admit that both Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger are vulnerable to cupid's arrow at the moment. Paul McCartney is recovering from a divorce from a one-legged pig-pointer that'll cost him millions, while Renee Zellweger was so shaken by the end of her marriage to completely not gay singer Kenny Chesney that last we heard she was screaming about guns like a mad woman.
And now the inevitable has happened – Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger have been spotted out enjoying a cosy candlelit dinner together, as the New York Daily News reports:
The Daily News featured exclusive photos of the two getting to know each other Aug. 25 during a $3,000-a-ticket Tom Petty concert at the Ross School. Then on Thursday night, the pair dined at a quiet table for two at the American Hotel on Main St. in Sag Harbor. "Renee arrived first, just before 8:30, and was waiting at the table by herself," a witness said. The Oscar winner and the music legend lingered for two hours over their meal at the Victorian-style hotel. "The dining rooms are extremely dimly lit, mostly with candlelight," the source said. "It's an extremely romantic place to meet for diner. They left separately, but they looked like they were enjoying themselves."
And who can blame Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger for getting together like this? The sight of Renee Zellweger's big pants in Bridget Jones has made many a heart flutter faster, and frankly we could barely restrain ourselves from humping our TV every time we saw Paul McCartney titting around like a pixie with a mandolin on those godawful iTunes adverts from a while ago. So we say good luck to Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger, because we will benefit from their relationship too – not only will Renee Zellweger become so financially stable if she gets married to Paul McCartney that she'll never need to make another Bridget Jones movie ever again, but we're quietly keeping our fingers crossed that Paul McCartney will get drunk and stab her at some point too.
Read more:
Paul McCartney & Renee Zellweger Spotted On Dinner Date – New York Daily News
harleyblues says
Lol what a twist of “fate” quite possibly? I donot see Macca with Ms Z. it’s a awful thought. A brillant actress yes but with someone of Pauls McCartneys stature? sadly no. Christy Brinkley yes!
eajk says
GOD! I absolutely HATE Renee, what an obvious musician whore she is. pathetic, neurotic, and desperate. AND she looks like half of her face is paralyzed or something. I hope Paul learns something from the last whore he was with. He needs to be single. His lovely wife died and no one, especially no one in Hollywood is ever going to love him for him. I hate seeing him with these gold-digging, attention- seeking, sluts. British men have such BAD taste!