Paul McCartney Not The Biggest Fan Of His Own Divorce

There have been three difficult moments in Paul McCartney's life: when he couldn't decide if the end of Hey Jude should go "Na na na" or "Sploo sploo sploo," when he first realised he'd have to dye his hair like an old lady and his divorce.

Although the world will have to wait to hear Paul McCartney's heartbreaking account of the whole "Sploo sploo sploo" thing, at least he's being a bit more forthcoming about his divorce from Heather Mills. Speaking for the first time since negotiations with Heather broke down last week, Paul McCartney has likened his divorce to "going through hell." And Paul McCartney is right, too, because from what we've heard, hell - where souls are tortured and left in eternal unthinkable constant flesh-searing agony - is almost identical to spending a number of months bickering with a one-legged woman and then coming out the other side with a reduced fortune of just £775 million.

Paul McCartney is between a rock and a hard place at the moment. For all the awards he's been winning and coffee-specific record deals he's been signing of late, the shadow of his divorce from Heather Mills has been looming over him ever since they separated 15 months ago. For a private man like Paul McCartney, who's spent the last 50 years being one of the most famous people on the planet, nothing could be worse than having all his private secrets spilled out for everyone to see.

But that's exactly what Heather Mills keeps threatening to do - she'd like nothing more than to tell the world how Paul McCartney stabbed her in the arm with a wineglass and angrily demanded ownership of her breasts. It's clearly got Paul McCartney rattled - after Heather Mills made claims that Paul McCartney also used to beat Linda McCartney up, Paul McCartney immediately rushed out and spent £200,000 on the tapes where it's claimed Linda McCartney apparently admits it. Now, the last thing that Paul McCartney wants is for any more allegations like that to get out - especially the one about Paul McCartney, a sawn-off red wine goblet, a field of goats and his boob-shed - so all of his divorce settlements have come with the stipulation that Heather Mills shuts up about everything forever.

But Heather Mills is the sort of person who'll dance on an aeroplane if it gives her even a microsecond of attention, so the last thing she'll agree to is a gagging order. The knowledge that all Heather Mills wants to do is to stand on top of a mountain shouting every single painful detail of her marriage to Paul McCartney through a megaphone, preferably while dressed as a dairy-loving 1980s German porn model, is thought to be what put the skids on last week's Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills £50 million divorce settlement talks.

But, no matter how awful things have got for Paul McCartney, he's determined to keep his dignity. And we know this because that's what Paul McCartney told a magazine in an interview about his divorce. The Times reports:

Speaking for the first time since negotiations between the couple broke down last week, Sir Paul, 65, told the Radio Times that he wanted to remain dignified. He said: “Going through a divorce is a very painful thing. As Winston Churchill once said, ‘If you’re going through hell, keep going!’ The only solution is to remain dignified. But I’ve a wonderful baby. She’s a great joy to me, as are my elder children, so I’m a lucky man. It’s been a difficult time. But music is a great healer.”

It's very noble of Paul McCartney to keep an almost-perfect silence about his divorce when the temptation to sling mud at Heather Mills must be huge. But then again, Paul McCartney has always been a very dignified man. Nope - there's certainly no faulting Paul McCartney's dignity. No faulting it at all.

Read more:

Divorce Is 'Like Hell' Says Sir Paul - Times Online