Paris Hilton being interviewed by Larry King was a must-see event, as the world eagerly awaited the formless jail-time mumblings of a famously stupid woman when probed by a man who can't even tell Ringo Starr from George Harrison.
And the Paris Hilton Larry King interview didn't disappoint. Well, OK, the Paris Hilton Larry King interview didn't disappoint so long as your expectations were so low that you generally get excited when someone waves a sheet of shiny paper around for you. In fact, the Paris Hilton Larry King interview was so vague and completely unrevelatory about Paris Hilton's time in jail that the shiny paper option would have probably been more insightful. But still, let's not be too hard on the interview; without it, we may never have learnt that Paris Hilton thinks that jail food is "horrible."
Larry King is a globally renowned interviewer, even more so than just-retired Michael Parkinson. By asking probing questions, like when he asked Elizabeth Taylor if she was dead, Larry King has been able to secure the big names for his show. For instance, Larry King's guests on Tuesday night were both of the surviving Beatles plus Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison, and tonight he's talking to profoundly important military statesman Colin Powell. But The Beatles and a former Secretary Of State can eff off, because last night Larry King interviewed Paris Hilton about her time in jail, in an interview so important that CNN chose to run a countdown clock to it in the preceding show.
The thing is, though, most people already know everything about Paris Hilton's time in jail. They know why Paris Hilton went to jail, they know where Paris Hilton went to jail, they know that Paris Hilton was released from jail and then thrown back in again. They even know that Paris Hilton missed pillows when she was in jail. But the reason why the Paris Hilton Larry King interview was so highly anticipated was because it was the first time after her release from jail that Paris Hilton could give her searing insight into her experiences with the prison system. You've spotted the problem too, haven't you.
Retrieving worthwhile insight about anything from the inside of Paris Hilton's mind is pretty much like searching the universe for a specific paperclip. Blindfolded. In a spaceship that doesn't work properly. And, as the Los Angeles Times reports, that's more or less what Larry King found during his interview with Paris Hilton:
On King's program, the 26-year-old Hilton appeared serious and guarded… When King asked what she would like to change about herself, she said she was bothered that her voice became too high-pitched when she was nervous. Asked why she was doing the interview, Hilton was initially flattered, calling King an "icon." When pressed, however, she said, "I want to let people know what I went through," adding that her three-week jail stint was "a really traumatic experience." She called jail food "horrible" and dubbed her strip-search "the most humiliating experience of my life." She was particularly distressed at not being able to hug her father on Father's Day.
Paris Hilton also stated that she's never taken drugs, that she reads the Bible "a lot" and that the mystery illness that lead to her early release from jail was claustrophobia which, we'll admit, is a little different to the whole 'her life was in danger' line that sheriff who released Paris said yesterday.
All in all then, apart from the shocking disclosure that jail food isn't very nice and strip searches are slightly humiliating, Larry King didn't really draw any decent information out of Paris Hilton whatsoever. Maybe Paris is saving her real revelations for the publication of her inevitable prison diaries or an interviewer who's prepared to actually pay her, but we suspect not. This lack of foresight is typical of Paris Hilton – imagine how much more publicity she would have got if she'd have thought to run into a little more trouble in jail, like starting a fight in the lunch queue or getting beaten up and forced to perform cunnilingus on an overweight murderer, perhaps. We'll never forgive you for not performing cunnilingus on an overweight murderer in jail, Paris. Never.
Read more:
Hilton Reveals Little In Post-Jail Interview – Los Angeles Times
Paul says
Watching the show was a complete waste of time. Larry asked good questions but Paris Hilton gave stupid replies.
Just goes to show evern if you have more money than you can spend does not equal level.
The only thing Paris has going for her is her porn films and her looks. Apart from that she is the most boring person alive.
russ says
Sir,
Please. Let’s lay the blame where it belongs.
The drivel which came from the Larry King show
Is what the public demands.
Yes, Paris is stupid and maybe Larry King is also,
but so is the average American. That’s why they
follow (crave) news about nitwits like Paris.
Is Larry King stupid?
Maybe he’s dumb like a fox. He just gives the public what they want and gets rich doing it.
Tommy says
First off…I can’t believe that people are actually talking about this!! Our country is going to hell in a hand basket, and the only thing we have to talk about is that Paris Hilton got out of jail?? I think it’s high time people wake up out of this pop culture induced coma and look around at what’s happening in our country, and to our country before it’s too late.
Mithaearon says
——————–
Tommy Says:
First off…I can’t believe that people are actually talking about this!! Our country is going to hell in a hand basket, and the only thing we have to talk about is that Paris Hilton got out of jail??
———————-
You are so right! We have much more important things to talk about such as Chantelle and Preston Splitting up :P
Viking Lumberjack says
I was wrong yesterday, so wrong. Here we were, thinking that Paris looked passable coming out of jail (aside from the genital/anal herpes), thinking that maybe it was a carefully orchestrated character redesign, much like Madonna is so fond of. She looked decent because:
A. No makeup
B. No oversized glasses
C. Genuine smile
D. No stupid sideways pose at the camera
On thinking that any of these may stick, I scored a 0/4.
On the first interview post-prison, she had lathered on the makeup with a butterknife, had glasses so large they appeared to come from a carnival novelty shop, wore her standard fake smile, and shot that goddamn evil sideways pose at the camera. That’s it! I’m not looking at another news site for at least a month unless it involves the butterknife for far more nefarious purposes. Preferably including lemon juice and salt.
shannon says
She is Soooo HOT….
Eric Layne says
Who is Paris Hilton?
Gary Anderson says
I CAN,T BELEIVE PARIS HILTON GOT A MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT & there are people starving in the world