Make the most of these next few hours – Paris Hilton is released from jail tomorrow, which means you haven't got long until you only see a skinny, vague, wonky-eyed internet porn star yakking about how hard her life is everywhere you look.
And the first place you'll see Paris Hilton crying and explaining how tough it is to stay in on her own in a two-person cell in a prison designed especially for famous people is on Larry King Live. Paris Hilton has agreed to let Larry King interview her for free on Wednesday. Larry King, knowing that he needs to make the Paris Hilton interview as sensational as possible, has decided to arrange the interview into segments – the interview will open with the 'Paris Hilton: I'm really, like, sorry and shit' segment before delving into the nitty gritty with segments entitled 'Paris Hilton: prison's like a small room where you have to sleep and stuff', 'Paris Hilton: the mean girls called me bad names' and 'Paris Hilton: I see there's a camera running. Would you like me to suck you off? It's sort of what I do.'
Right now Paris Hilton is probably going through the tearful process of saying goodbye to the prison life she's known so well over the last three weeks – fondly letting go of the rock-hard bed she had to sleep on, letting Mary The Arsonist try to shiv her in the ribs one last time and shitting in her trousers just for old time's sake. Tomorrow Paris Hilton will be released from her hard 23-day sentence in a cushy jail – a process she's already used to because she's already been released from jail once. However, this time Paris Hilton's freedom won't end with a judge ordering her back to court and then chucking her in jail again; it'll end with a chat with an affable old man who's most famous for asking Elizabeth Taylor if she's dead.
Larry King has secured the first post-jail interview with Paris Hilton, scheduled for this Wednesday. Paris Hilton won't be paid for the Larry King interview, after members of Paris Hilton's family apparently tried unsuccessfully to get network broadcasters to pay a million dollars for the interview. The LA Times reports:
In a chaotic series of negotiations this week, ABC executives said they were told by Hilton's family that "Today's" Meredith Vieira had won the interview because NBC had offered to pay close to $1 million to license the footage, a story that NBC rejected as untrue. In a statement released through a spokesman this afternoon, Hilton said: "I am thrilled that Larry King has asked me to appear on his program to discuss my experience in jail, what I have learned, how I have grown and anything else he wants to talk about. Larry King is not only a world-renowned journalist, but a true American icon. It will be an honor to do his show."
It's a prestigious interview for Larry King, or at least it would be if Paris Hilton hadn't already blabbed to Barbara Walters and Ryan Seacrest on the phone already. On the basis of those interviews we're guessing that we already know what Paris Hilton will talk about with King. First Paris Hilton will show remorse for driving on a suspended license after being arrested for drink driving, following which Paris Hilton will reiterate claims that her jail sentence was a message from God that's taught her to only use her celebrity for good.
It'll be a big moment for Paris Hilton – appearing on something as well-respected as Larry King's show will be her first uneasy steps to public acceptance. If it goes well enough, the public will be quick to forget her past and accept the new socially aware Paris Hilton for what she is. Maybe people will even start buying her album again.
OK, perhaps that's going a bit too far.
Read more:
Paris Hilton to Go On Larry King Show – Unpaid – Los Angeles Times
Mike Venter says
HI
I would like to have het e-mail address.
Mike
Jodi says
It’s too bad when reporters/media in order to work must bad mouth someone who committed a small misdemeanor crime, paid for her crime by serving far more time than anyine else would have served for the same crime with the same criminal history (no criminal history) and appears to have grown up into her 26 years of age. After all it looks like Paris will do society some good now. I hope she does not help those that have been bad mouthing her from the start of this like this reporter.
The story here for reporters that wanted to report news was about the fact that a publicity hungry judge was looking for his 15 minutes of fame and a prosecutor looking to run for higher office intended to make a career out of Paris. The real story is the criminal record in the prosecutors family (wife driving without insurance and on a suspended license for over one year and the prosector himself driving without insurance for more than one year and using state employees for babysitting and personal errands. Remember that if Paris got into an accident while driving on her suspended license, she was covered by auto insurance but if you were hit by the prosecutors wife while she was driving on her suspended license then you would have found it difficult to be paid for your damages or injuries because she (the prosecutors wife)was driving without auto insurance.
Oerisch says
I bet with you that she will make money out of this story…
If I would be sent to jail, nobody woud give a …
Further, Larry King should not go that deep and intrerview her – has this most famous person (L.K.) not anyone better to interview?
Poor world.
Cole says
Hey Jodi, guess what? She didn’t commit a misdemeanor. She committed a DUI and then violated her probation THREE times. You are one of the people that perpetuates the pampering of celebrities. She deserved what she got and celebrity ass kissers such as yourself need to wake up.
Pappy says
im wid u cole
THE BIG CHUCQUITA says
I thought Larry King interviewed people of interest. I can’t believe that he needs to lower himself and interview a spoiled brat like Paris Hilton. I can’t wait to find out what day the interview is seeing that I haven’t had a good laugh in a long long time.
Lord Tootie says
Hey, Jodi………. Shut up, you sniveling bitch.
joan says
Shame on all the saddists who give bad comments about Paris..the truth is they are all jealous and sad in their lives that they hate to see prosperous people feel good.karma will teach them that every person deserves to be treated well despite status.And they will realise that their sad lives will never get better esp when they portray their saddism.Go Paris!Go girl,i’m a model just like you…tall n beautiful and i’m sure if i got to jail then many around me would feel and say the same.They hate us coz we rule!
I stayed at the Paris Hilton says
I can’t believe anyone would be even interested in this feather-brained ho. This whole thing started cuz she’s a spoiled little rich bitch who’s granddaddy disowned them all….and they used fame and glamour (what a pitiful word) to draw the bucks toward them. Yuck…this is why reading is so important. It gives you something real to do with your life.
Gilbert Wham says
Joan, you are clearly short, round, and probably not female. This being the internet and all…