Paris Hilton Poked Chris DeWolfe… No, Wait - That’s Facebook

Does Paris Hilton even have a MySpace account?

Surely she’s one of those types that gets their profile banned for being far, far too whorish for the young audience of the site?

It would appear Paris has special dispensation, however, as she is reportedly ‘dating’ - or whatever the kids call it these days - the CEO of MySpace Chris DeWolfe, who has surely given her special privileges for her profile. More photos, space to upload more of her wonderful music (seeing as her pop career is something of a nonstop rollercoaster right now) or something like that, surely. It is shocking that Paris didn’t let MTV find her a new boyfriend, mind.

What makes the story all the more shocking is that neither Paris nor Chris have updated their profiles to show they are single, with each still involved in a relationship and a marriage (though separated), respectively. Guys - go to your profile, click on edit then change the information accordingly - come on, you shouldn’t be leading people astray like this.

At least if it were Facebook you could change it to ‘It’s Complicated’, which would suit perfectly.

Yes, in the world of celebrity it’s always good to keep a low profile if you’re sneaking about behind your other halves’ backs. So what better way to go about it than to go to some high-profile parties, be filmed and photographed together at them then let the evidence be uploaded to all websites in the world?

Hecklerspray thinks there may be a better way - there may be a number of better ways - but we can’t think right now. We’re too busy cruising MySpace for some honeys. Surely if you can get Paris Hilton through the site then you can also get a woman actually worth getting?

Though, to be honest, if Hilton does end up President of the US then she would at least have some point to her… decisions, decisions.

It would seem that Paris isn’t exactly pushing for the core demographic when it comes to the voting public, instead focusing her campaign trail on the numerous parties that DeWolfe has been hosting. While she may be able to schmooze her way to popularity at these events, a few hundred votes or so surely aren’t enough to grab her the presidency, are they? Though with voter apathy at its current levels, anything is possible.

On the other hand, this could be something of a power play by Chris DeWolfe. He has seen his MySpace empire lose its grasp on the world of social networking and may well want to re-assert himself and the site in a very public fashion.

By being the First Man of the US, he would surely have President Paris’ ear and be able to push for the XXVIII Amendment: ‘The right for Facebook to be banned and every American to have to have a MySpace account. Or they will be shot, thanks to the II Amendment’.

Stranger things have happened.

Needless to say, hecklerspray will be following this story to see if anything worthwhile comes of it. You never know what nasty comments a jilted lover could leave on MySpace, after all.