Paris Hilton is suffering. Not only is Paris in the midst of a psychologically-testing 45-day jail sentence, but now Paris Hilton's talent agency has dropped her too – plus it's like wicked hard to make a pair of cack-streaked jailhouse trousers look hot.

Perhaps the only thing more shocking than realising that Paris Hilton's talent agency Endeavor has dropped her as a client when she's at her most emotionally vulnerable is realising that, wait, Paris Hilton had a talent agency? That means that House Of Wax, The Simple Life and that awful album about blind stars were actually part of a professional strategy and not just a series of dumbly-fluffed ventures that Paris Hilton sort of wafted into on a whim? And also, Paris Hilton has a talent? We clearly haven't invested enough stock into the creative process of mumbling the same four words all day and then sucking blokes off on the internet.

Now that Paris Hilton has been in jail – and out of jail and in court again and back to jail for good – for just over a week, it's time to start looking forward to when she's released. As befitting someone who is officially 11 times better than a normal person, it's been reported that a giant party will be thrown for Paris Hilton on her release from jail where, to help her gradually adapt back to civilian life, guests will take turns to shit in their trousers in front of Paris and then try to force her at knifepoint to perform cunnilingus on them in the laundry room when the snouts aren't looking.

But after all that fun is over, Paris Hilton will have to face the reality of looking for work. Although the first few months after her jail release will be spent paying a ghostwriter to pen her lucrative prison diaries and getting paid to do all manner of tell-all interviews with glossy magazines, now that Paris Hilton's talent agency Endeavor has dropped her as a client she might have trouble finding a job after that, as the San Jose Mercury reports:

The Endeavor talent agency has dropped the reality show star, said Michael Donkis, a spokesman for the company. "She is no longer a client," he said, declining further comment. Hilton has been represented by the Beverly Hills-based agency since 2005. The 26-year-old star of "The Simple Life" launched a pop music career in August. She also has a namesake perfume and handbag collection.

Isn't it unsettling to think that Paris Hilton even had a talent agency in the first place, since the only real acts that Paris Hilton has shown any aptitude for are wanking off men and crying in court. There must have been a group of people who actually advised Paris Hilton to make that album that nobody bought, or who thought that House Of Wax was going to be a blockbuster, or who figured out that watching Paris Hilton being useless at basic menial tasks on TV would become a popular hobby of many people. But now you can forget all that because, like Alec Baldwin briefly, Paris Hilton doesn't have a talent agency any more. 

Perhaps it's for the best that Endeavor has dropped her – when Paris gets out of jail she's stated that she wants to change the way the public perceives her, and even hinted that God will be her new agent. Obviously this would be an especially good idea because not only would representation by God mean that Paris Hilton could appeal to a more conservative, values-based demographic, but also it'd finally show that bitch Nicole Richie who's boss, since she's only on the books of St Theophan The Recluse who, by and large, is an idiot.

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Endeavour Talent Agency Drops Paris Hilton As Client – San Jose Mercury