As she's proved time and time again on The Simple Life, Paris Hilton is useless at every single thing she puts her hand to – like, say, driving a car from a party to a burger bar without being completely schnockered on all kinds of booze first.
But that's not how Paris Hilton sees it, though. Yesterday Paris Hilton's drink driving case came up in court and the Hilton lawyers were present to issue a not guilty plea for her; claiming that Paris Hilton wasn't drunk, just empty-bellied enough for the one margarita that was sloshing about her system to show up more than usual. Police, however, maintain that when Paris Hilton was stopped she was slurring her speech, not making any sense and unable to follow even the most basic of commands. Oh come on, you must know where we're going with this one…
By her own admission, everything that Paris Hilton does is blown out of proportion. For instance, if you believe the media then you'll know that Paris Hilton can't go to a nightclub without either punching Lindsay Lohan or beating up recent divorcees or getting the sack from the nightclub before having a quick piss in the taxi that takes her home. But if you listen to Paris Hilton then she's the sex-free samaritan who gives money to the homeless and often cries happy tears of wonder. The restraining order, tape of her sucking off a man on the internet and failed music career are all just incidental.
As is the DUI arrest, we're sure. You'll remember that in September Paris Hilton was busted for drink-driving and quickly charged. Since then, Paris Hilton has attempted to wriggle out of trouble by a) explaining that she wasn't drunk, she just really wanted a burger and b) getting Nicole Richie to drive the wrong way up a motorway while blasted on pot on painkillers to try and draw attention away from her.
But despite all this, Paris Hilton's arraignment hearing came up in court yesterday and – although Paris Hilton herself wasn't present – a not guilty plea was entered on her behalf, as E! Online reports:
At an arraignment hearing Tuesday, Hilton pleaded not guilty to two counts of DUI. Because the charges were misdemeanors, the heiress was not required to appear in court and had an attorney enter the plea on her behalf. A pretrial hearing on the matter was scheduled for Jan. 23. Hilton's troubles began when she was stopped Sept. 6 after police spotted her behind the wheel of her Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, driving erratically as she left a Hollywood hot spot. According to an LAPD report, she displayed symptoms of intoxication and failed a field sobriety test. Though police refused to confirm, sources claimed Hilton blew a 0.08 on the Breathalyzer test, the minimum blood-alcohol level required for a DUI in California.
So who will the judge listen to; Paris Hilton and her lawyers or the police and their so-called 'tests'? The worst that Paris Hilton can expect from an eventual guilty verdict – if one is found – is six months in jail and a $1,000 fine, although since she's a first-time offender Paris is more likely to be hit with nothing more than a fine and a place on an alcohol education program. We're sure that's just what Paris Hilton needs – after all, we've seen the speed in which Paris has mastered singing and acting, so learning not to chug cocktails and go out driving should be a cinch for her, right? Anyone?
Read more:
Mutji Fin says
Paris Hilton is an idiot. she doesn’t even have the best home made sex tape.