Because for a gang of pointless sub Blink 182 pop-punk gormloids, Good Charlotte members have managed to score themselves some fairly high profile girlfriends. Joel Madden from the band famously got Nicole Richie pregnant, and now his brother Benji has wound up dating Paris Hilton.
We know. We're just two small marriages away from Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie becoming related. And we're fairly sure that'll bring about the end of the world in Ghostbusters Gatekeeper/ Keymaster scenario. Nicole being Rick Moranis, obviously.
There was a time when Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were inseparable. On their TV show The Simple Life Paris and Nicole would bimble about America failing to do tasks that even a lobotomised stoat would find a little on the easy side. It's not an overstatement to say that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were the Thelma And Louise of shagging men on the internet and driving backwards up a motorway blasted on drugs respectively.
Sadly, like most friendships involving Paris Hilton, Paris and Nicole fell out, and it was traumatic. There were claims of mutual practical jokes and petty pranks that threatened to tear The Simple Life apart, putting the livelihoods of the world's confused-sounding fiddle sound effect producers in serious jeopardy.
Despite this, the pair of them have managed to keep a few things in common. They've both been to prison, for example, and while Nicole Richie had a baby, Paris Hilton managed to maintain her IQ score slightly lower than that of an average newborn baby. Plus they're banging a set of brothers, which helps.
While Nicole Richie is shacked up with Joel Madden from Good Charlotte, it looks as if his brother Benji Madden has started doing it with Paris Hilton. People reports:
Less than two weeks after Benji Madden split from fiancée Sophie Monk, the rocker is stepping out with another blonde bombshell. The new woman in his life? None other than Paris Hilton. "Yes, they are dating. It's pretty serious," a source confirms of the couple, who have been spotted together all over town – make that all over the country! In just the past few days, they have partied at Home nightclub in suburban St. Louis, shopped (while holding hands) at Hollywood's Fred Segal, and even grabbed lunch with Madden's mom.
OK, so Paris Hilton holding hands with a boy who's just a fortnight out of an engagement means that it's obviously not a serious relationship, especially since she hasn't even bothered to release an internet video of him boning her yet. But still, consider the consequences of what'd happen if things did turn serious and Paris Hilton really did get married to Benji Madden while Nicole Richie got married to Joel Madden.
We'll tell you the consequences – really shit Boxing Day family get-togethers, that's what. We can barely imagine.