Paris Hilton Moving To The Dump Known As Camden
We’ve been to Camden a few times. It’s an experience to say the least when you leave the tube at Camden Town.
Stand still for long enough and the local addicts will quickly assume you’re a dealer.
Camden is also the spiritual home of Amy Winehouse, Sarah Harding and unfunny man Noel Fielding. Not only do you have to be content with sharing a postcode with these people, but you also have to put up with the hundreds of copycat children who don jeans so tight that their right testicle will explode from the pressured circulation. But prepare yourself for some LA glamour – Paris Hilton’s coming to town.
In LA, the fashionable elite eat organically steamed celery and slurp double skinny vanilla lattes with extra froth whilst walking round with miniature dogs that crap in their Gucci bags. Over in London, it’s less glamorous as punters can be seen eating kebabs made from the remains of rat and road kill whilst stepping over drunken tramps.
Why Paris Hilton wants to leave LA for London is beyond us. Perhaps she wants to see what happens when a couple of snowflakes fall and the entire city grinds to a halt. Maybe she’s filming a new TV show called Paris Hilton’s Weather Extremes.
Sadly, we won’t be seeing Paris chase tornadoes as she desperately tries to recreate her childhood dream of filming a scene from the film Twister. Unfortunately she’ll have to be content with buying lime-flavoured lollies from an ice-cream man who’ll no doubt want to cover it in red sauce.
Because most people in America see Paris as an annoying and pointless human being, she’s widened her search for a new best friend to England. Or most likely London due to budget restraints. And now she wants to come here for good, as a source told Digital Spy:
“Paris started looking for a base when she was last in the UK to film her ITV2 reality show, Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend. She initially thought about living near Hampstead and Belsize Park, but moved on to Camden, where she could get more bedrooms for her money.”
Near Hampstead? Maybe she could visit the heath and organise a play date with toilet frolicking George Michael. Not only would she keep him from doing anything dodgy in a public toilet, but she could at least bag herself a Gay British Best Friend.
If everything does go wrong with the show and Paris fails to find a best friend to exploit her fortune, there are alternative career paths for her. London is full of seedy back alleys full of places that dirty old men visit. With an established porn career behind her, Paris can open up her own whore house!
Imagine the flickering broken neon light as it displays one of the multiple names that she could call name her knocking shop. Whore Do You Think I Am? A Taste Of LA and Tit For Tat are just some of the names that are screaming out to be taken.
HOW DARE YOU CALL NOEL FIELDING UNFUNNY
HE IS FUNNY
HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN HIM LIVE?
I DONT THINK SO
TAKE IT FROM ME AND LIKE 1000000 OTHER BOOSH FANS
NOEL AND JULIAN ARE FUNNY
SO TAKE THIS ARTICLE AND YOURSELF SOMEWHERE DARK!
ech.
¬_¬
Ahem.
Paris Hilton.. Glamourous? She got famous by sucking cocks and feeding off daddy’s money.. oh yeah. Let’s admire her.
Noel Fielding – unfunny? What’s this bullshit? Of course he’s funny. That’s why he’s so famous, you frigging dumbass.
Paris Hilton couldn’t find a best friend if she became a nun.
So go,
screw,
yourself.
this article is a poor excuse for journalism.
anyone who cares about paris hilton really needs to get a life.
oh another thing while we’re comenting;
CAMDEN IS LUSH
dont call it a dump you un-privileged person.
or we’ll come at you like a breeze block of pain
yeah!
suck on that sub-section
think next time you try and make a pety comment about a man with over 150 million fans who love him.
=.=
Unfunny man Noel Fielding?!!!!!!! Of course he’s funny. He’s a proffesional comedian you berk. I’ve seen like LOADS of his stand-up gigs, and each one has had me in stitches.
“Not only do you have to be content with sharing a postcode with these people, but you also have to put up with the hundreds of copycat children who don jeans so tight that their right testicle will explode from the pressured circulation”
1 – I know thousands of people who would do ANYTHING to share the same postcode as Noel Fielding.
2 – Yeah exactly. Those copycat children wearing skinnies – copying Noel Fielding!
I think it’s them that’s gunna have to put up with Paris Hilton living by them!
Do your research.
HOW DARE YOU “!!!!
“Unfunny man noel fielding”
is that why when the boosh went on tour and when he does his stand up gigs – THEYRE SOLD OUT !!!!!!!! COS THAT MANY PEOPLE WANTED TO SEE IT COS ITS FUNNY !!!!
i think you need to do some research before you start writing rubbish like this
It seems that when they grow up, the critique evolves
from “U R a jealous hater who is just jealous ‘cuz ur not
rich and famous like him” to “you call this journalism”.
150 million fans. Really?
If you count all fifteen a million times, I suppose it works.
Also, Camden is a pit. A tarry, lifeless, hopeless, trend-o-matic,
blight that ensares dinosaurs and erst popstars and embalms them with
Indian takeaway. No one who is anyone would be caught dead there
which explains the choice perfectly. Or something.
omg!!! i cant believe what i just read…and why i wasted my time reading it
paris hilton is a complete waste of space everyone knows that but seriously…noel fielding is very talented and so is amy winehouse and george michael. all the shitty comments about them is out of order…not that any of them would give a shit after all its crappy bits of press like this they laugh at.
a pointless stupid article like this will only boost their popularity so hey ho noel and amy will be laughing all the way to the bank…and us fellow fans will all be laughing too at how pointless this is and how sad and lonely you have to be to write it
How dare you have an opinion that’s different from mine? ALL WRITERS MUST LIKE WHAT I LIKE!!!!! *sobs uncrontollably while jilling off to a picture of Noel ‘oooh Buffalo pencils’ Fielding*
NOEL FIELDING UNFUNNY?!?!
I direct you HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQ69xEyAzIk
See what I mean? I thought so!!!!
P.S. euclid, it’ll be our little secret.
euclid you wierdo.
bet you’ve never watched boosh.
and even if you have seen it, bet you never got it.
and they sold out all they’re shows;
so yeah, we would say they have a LOT of fans.
bet you live somewhere posh, who looks down on camden, but there are people with common sense and who like camden.
so back off.
k.
you got pwned you pathetic twat.
go shove your paris hilton shite somewhere else.
camden is ours, and she will not pollute it.
Only,