Paris Hilton Is Too Beautiful For Jail, Says Paris Hilton

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Paris Hilton Jail Prison beautiful petition MySpaceWe've seen the Chained Heat movies, so we know that all-female prisons are full of non-stop lesbian orgies – we also know that police stations are no better thanks to Busty Cops 2 – so a girl as beautiful as Paris Hilton wouldn't stand a chance in there.

That's more or less what Paris Hilton is trying to claim, anyway. Terrified that her 45-day prison sentence for violating her drink-driving probation will plunge her into a world of daily beatings, violent shower-room cunnilingus and a total absence of anything that's even vaguely hot, Paris Hilton has started up a petition to keep her out of jail, on the basis that she "provides beauty and excitement" to everyone's lives. And there we were thinking that Paris Hilton only provides us with bad music, bad films, bad TV shows and the occasional homemade porno film. And wonky eye jokes, which are kind of exciting, we'll admit.

When Michelle Rodriguez was thrown in jail last year, she described her experience by saying:

"I'm a gypsy. I can see beauty in a jail cell." 

But that's because Michelle Rodriguez went to jail for a total of four hours. After violating probation stemming from her drink-driving arrest, though, Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail – that's 270 times longer than Michelle Rodriguez, meaning that Paris Hilton will get to experience 270 times more gypsy-inspired beauty than the dead mannish girl from Lost. Also, Paris Hilton will get to eat 270 times more bad prison slop and 270 times more carefully planned razorblade/ toothbrush shiv attacks in the middle of the night.

So, understandably, Paris Hilton isn't especially thrilled about going to jail, especially since it means using a grotty toilet to urinate into instead of her usual taxi of choice. And that's why Paris Hilton is doing all she can to get out of jail before she even goes in it. How? Expensive legal advice from a team of the world's most expensive lawyers? Displaying genuine remorse for her crime in order to show the appeals court that she's learnt her lesson? A half-baked MySpace petition? Yeah, that last one. And this is what it says:

"Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives… We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong… This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life."

And it seems as if all kinds of people do want "her to her return to her career and life," whatever that means. The Paris Hilton jail petition has so far received over 10,000 signatures which, although impressive, probably won't stop Paris Hilton from going to the big house – because if it did then you can guarantee Phil Spector would be on MySpace trying the exact same thing faster than you can buy a lesbian wig.

But all of this worry is completely unnecessary, because – rather than being too beautiful and exciting for jail – we get the impression that Paris Hilton is going to fit into prison life perfectly. She already knows how to fight both rough-looking blondes and weedy gingers, plus her fellow inmates will have to respect Hilton's previous criminal record.

It was called Stars Are Blind. That was her criminal record.

We know. Sorry.

Buy your FREE PARIS / DON'T FREE PARIS T-shirts here! 

Read more:

My Public Need Me, Says Paris Hilton – The Times 

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Comments

  1. marisa says

    IF YOU DO THE CRIME DO THE TIME, FAMOUS OR NO FAMOUS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEAUTY AND MONEY YOU WANT TO USE THAT IT DON’T LAST LONG YOU HAVE TO GET OLD EVENTUALLY AND BE A NOBODY LATER SO STOP WINNING AN DO YOUR TIME BECAUSE IF SHE DON’T SHE GO AND DRINK AGAIN AND REMEMBER “DRINKING AND DRIVING KILL’S”

  2. Luzerne Etherham Goodykins II jR. says

    So far as I am concerned Paris W. Hilton performs oral gratification upon dead bears!

    IF you know what I mean? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more, say no more.

    :)

  3. Sheila says

    Paris Hilton is not above the law just because she is a famous individual. I would be concerned about what that would say about the justice system if Paris Hilton did not serve her sentence. Life is about choices and there are consequences for breaking the law.

  4. says

    Paris Hilton is NOT entertaining in any way. She can DIAF, for all I care. I never want to see her nasty face again

  5. Nicole R says

    I think the sentence is a little excessive, but agree she should serve a few days in the slammer. I doubt anyone else in her position would get such an extensive sentence, most people pay on their 3rd DUI and still manage to stay out of jail. Her problem is she just blew it off like everything else in her life that requires responsibility. She should do the time and just put it behind her.

  6. pooty says

    she should go to jail and make a new porno with her inmates…make some money off the deal. She can even have a InmateParis doll or bobble heads…that would be funny

  7. Stephen Gallagher, North London says

    Hilton’s agent, on Paris: “she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world”.

    SORRY?!! WHAT?!! SO, TAKING DRUGS, GETTING ABSOLUTELY WASTED NEARLY EVERY DAY, NUMEROUS DRINK DRIVING INCIDENTS & FILMING YOURSELF GETTING FUCKED BY RANDOM BLOKES “PROVIDES HOPE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE…”?!!!!
    NO WONDER KIDS ARE SO SCREWED UP THESE DAYS THEN!

  8. Henry says

    The legal system isnt perfect, but throwing that spoiled brat in jail brings it one step further. She deserves no special priviliages!!

  9. misty says

    WE could do without her for 45 days. Its time she stop imposing her nasty “hiltoness” on people all over the world. If she is let off, I am going to be inspired to boycott all hilton hotels for a long, long time. Worst person in the media for a long, long time too. Shame on the family for bringing up such a nauseating offspring.

  10. SirLoin says

    Paris should not go to jail. She should be sentenced to hard labor at my house. Hard labor may be defined as house work, yard work, and analingus. She already owns my required prison uniform, so she can bring her own clothes.

  11. Dori says

    I can NOT stand Paris Hilton… she is a spoiled arrogant snob and she deserves to be incarcerated! Hope she goes to jail and they throw away the key!

  12. says

    Is there some law against just dragging her behind a truck for a few miles? And filming it? And selling the DVD to raise money for charity? With an extended cut that is just a few extra miles of the truck dragging – followed by having her fellate whomever is handy?

    Wait – let me guess – there is, isn’t there? Crap. And for a moment there – she had given me hope.

  13. Awaitingthevideo says

    If something naughty happens to Paris, I’m sure it will be caught on video. Like Martha Stewart, they will probably put her in a situation where they are sure nothing bad will happen to her. They aren’t going to put her in with any murderers, lesbian coke bottle rapists (if there is such a thing). Paris has always and will always treat every situation she’s in, in the same way; as a way to draw more attention to herself. Let’s hope that when her looks fade, she won’t resort to more extreme measures of trying to get attention.

  14. Jimbo says

    PUT THAT SILLY BITCH ON THE CHAIN GANG AND MAKE HER PICK UP TRASH ON THE
    INTERSTATE.

  15. Caroline says

    I am so sick and tired of hearinga bout Paris Hilton. She is not a celebrity. She is a poiled little rich girl who gets to act out her immaturity in front of a camera. Put her in jail make her normal for a little bit and see what happens.

  16. Shirley says

    Along with Paris, her parents should be serving some time too, I can’t imagine a caring parent being so offensive
    to a judge of our courts, I had four children and if one of them did what she has done, they would take the punishment.

  17. Alpha Man says

    If the stars are blind, justice should not. Too bad America is all about money, I’m sure she’ll get away with the $10,000,000 lawyer.

  18. Splitter says

    You are all dillusional this will enhance her reputation with Kid’s! Why is it that people think punishing people will make them wake up and smell the coffee and are then shocked when they don’t. It is not in the nature of these people to care about what happens afterword.

    Look how many of you commentedon her here, her rep is on the way up not down she is more a role model now then before if you want her to go away don’t read these articles don’t buy product she endoress and don’t buy the silly tabloid rag’s that make these people famous. WE ARE TO BLAME FOR HER FAME NOT HER! Maybe we need to wake up and smell that coffee because I think she will laugh all the way to the bank after you pay for her stay in jail.

    How is the egg on your face Cheers.

  19. says

    Sending her to jail is not just a punishment, it is a correction. The whole point is to deter those of us intelligent enough to follow rules, and provide an unpleasant experience to those who don’t so that they will (hopefully) follow rules in the future.

    Without question, send Paris Hilton to jail. The very fact that she believes she does not deserve it is further evidence that she does not believe the law applies to her. She needs to learn respect for public interests.

    She seems to have no remorse whatsoever, completely oblivious to the danger to herself and to other people she is. That’s why she needs to be corrected. Should she be given a pardon, her belief that she is above the law will be even further confirmed in her own micro world – leading her into even worse, potentially tragic, offenses.

  20. Sarah says

    Has anyone else thought about the conversation she must have had when decided to announce this? Was it like,
    Paris “I doan wanna go ta jail daddy”
    Mr Hilton “okay lumpkins, we will say you are too entertaining, that’ll work, cos if I think it, everyone else sure as hell does.”
    Paris “Yay, you are the best daddy in the world….”

    Who in their right mind is going to actually say something like this to the world? What a divvy.

    The person that said it is our fault she is famous is correct, but I can’t resist bitching about her either, she is awful – South Park was spot on.

  21. Marilyn says

    Paris should spend the time in Jail. Just because she comes from money is no reason to get behind a wheel of a car. If she gets away with spending time in jail, then they need to release everybody in jail and give them a second chance. The time in jail will teach her a lesson. Next time she is behind a wheel with alcohol in her system she might not be so lucky. She might get killed or kill an innocent person. So have fun in jail Paris. I got a ticket for wreckless driving and did my time, you are no different. Marilyn

  22. neutral paul says

    I think paris should concentrate on her personal video success. Maybe do a spin on the horrible injustice that was done to her and how she fell in love with her cellmate Jill.

  23. Sahra says

    Paris should just do the time since she did commit a crime. I am really tired of hearing about her here and there thinking that just because she has all this money that she can get a way with anything. She can’t and if she does, then there is something really wrong with the court system in the United States. Again, I feel that she should just go to jail, petition or no petition. If she gets away with it, how many more people are going to? If she doesn’t go to jail, then every other convict/person that is committed to jail for violating their probation with DWI/any other offense will bring this case up and wonder why she got off and they cannot, even if it is their first offense.

  24. whomitmayconcern says

    If she wants to wrap herself around a telephone pole, go up in a fiery crash or be splattered on a highway, good riddance and more power to her, that’s her choice.

    But this waste of space needs to realize she isn’t the only one on the road, and the LAPD have allowed her to get away with too much for too long in incidents that have been well-documented.

    I for one can use a good long break from seeing this lazy-eyed slag’s antics plastered on TV and in newspapers.

  25. KEITH says

    SHE SHOULD GO TO JAIL AS A HARD LESSON. TOO MANY OF YOUR WHITE PRINCESS HAVE DEAD BECAUSE OF THINGS LIKE THIS. MONROE, NICOLE SMITH, NOW YOU GOT BRITTNEY, RICHIE, ANS HILTON! NOW MANY OF YOUR WHITE PRINCESS MUST DIE?

  26. Alex says

    “violent shower-room cunnilingus” — best thing I’ve read all month- man you’re a genius:)

  27. says

    oh Paris u now have drooling hard core lessos salivating at the thought of having you 4 the next 45 daze…..oh baby they will be lining up 4 you….and your tight little twat will never be the same again….u may even get to enjoy it…or find true love…so dont miss out honey….cause we dont want to dissapoint the hard core lezzo welcoming committee… do we now sugar…..

  28. booger says

    PARIS!!! GO AWAY!!! GO FAR AWAY!!!! YOU NEED TO GET DOWN ON YOUR EXCESSIVELY UTILIZED KNEES AND THANK THE GODS OF OVER PRIVELAGED, AIR-HEAD, WASTE OF SPACE SOCIALITES THAT BEING A WHINY SPOILED B**CH ISN’T ILLEGAL, OTHERWISE YOU’D BE FACING THE CHAIR!!
    LOVE, JOE “BOOGER” WILSON
    P.S. GO AWAY!!!!

  29. Loren says

    She will land on her feet and make money on this. Orange jump suits will be “HOT.” I just hope the experience won’t make her hard and nasty.

  30. Bill Adams says

    It is a real shame that Miss Hilton did not comprehend the opportunity she was given to show class, breeding, maturity, intelligence and grace. All she had to do was appear at the court 30 minutes early instead of ten minutes late, and confess something like the following: “I am guilty of violating my probation conditions more than once. I thought I could get away with it, and I never even read my rules carefully. I was stupid and arrogant. I will accept any punishment the court thinks is needed without complaint, and I will behave differently in the future.” Instead, she demonstrated only negatives in terms of brains or character. Her parents should be ashamed of her and of themselves, not of the judge.

  31. says

    now cum cum ladies and gentlemen…she only drove a car…with no licence and no lights…its not a huge crime…Boy George got a light sweeping sentence 4 having stacks of coke in the house…….Naomi the same 4 assult…….and besides those hairy armpitted tattooed lezzos are gleefully awaiting our luscious sweet natured socialite…they will see her through…..45 days……

  32. Tony says

    The stupid bitch broke the law plain and simple. I personally jumped for joy when i heard she was going to jail. It couldn’t have happened to a better person.

  33. says

    That is just sick. Quite honestly I don’t think Paris Hilton is in the least bit beautiful. I do have one question though, If there is a petition to keep her out of jail, then where is the petition to keep her in. The law is the law I don’t care who you are or how pretty you claim to be. Drunk Drivers kill people and those people are mothers, fathers, children, and lovers. I have lost loved ones due to others drunk driving and I just won’t stand for it. Take a cab damnit. Or in your Rich Prettly little world take a freakin limo. There is absolutly no exuse for Paris’ actions. She is a big girl and needs to stand up and take responsibility for her own actions. What else are we going to let people get away with?? Theft?? Murder?? Rape??

  34. Luke says

    Wonder if she’ll have to work in the carpet factory … possibly as a muncher ?

  35. Andy says

    So she endangers the american public with her drunk driving and then we are supposed to praise her…. hahah they should lock her up for twice as long after hearing this crap. “We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong… ” that part realy ticks me off. Whoever wrote that should lose there job. That has to be one of the most naive statements ever.

  36. FuckPH says

    To Paris:

    Dear Paris, I wont say you’re ugly, but you’re a FUCKING IDIOT! Learn that anybody that breaks the law shall be punished, and saying you’re too beautiful for it is FUCKING DUMB! THAT IS NO ARGUMENT, IDIOT! GO TO SCHOOL.

  37. Steve says

    For the love of God. Can we just eat the rich now and worry about the bad gas we’ll get later.

  38. Not A Paris Fan says

    I wish to start another petition.

    “Dear Governor Schwarzenegger, for the betterment of the human race I hereby petition that you consider issuing Ms. Hilton a lethal injection at your earliest convenience. Please note that double the usual amount may be required due to the brain cells Ms. Hilton has already fried. If California does not currently use the death penalty, I implore you to reinstate it as soon as possible specifically to fry Ms. Hilton for the advancement of the human race.”

    If he won’t go for that, I hope that the following quote from the movie “Liar, Liar” will best sum up the way she can avoid jail time in the future:

    Greta: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
    Fletcher: [picking up phone and shouting] Stop breaking the law, asshole!

  39. Shane says

    I think she should go to jail. What message would be sent if we allowed celebrities to get a “Get out of jail” pass every time they committed a crime? She made her bed, now she can sleep in it…STS. Besides when she gets out of jail, I would like to buy the DVD of her nightly encounters. That would make an awesome addition to my DVD library!

  40. Fernando says

    “”””Stephen Gallagher, North London Says:
    May 9th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
    Hilton’s agent, on Paris: “she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world”.

    SORRY?!! WHAT?!! SO, TAKING DRUGS, GETTING ABSOLUTELY WASTED NEARLY EVERY DAY, NUMEROUS DRINK DRIVING INCIDENTS & FILMING YOURSELF GETTING FUCKED BY RANDOM BLOKES “PROVIDES HOPE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE…”?!!!!
    NO WONDER KIDS ARE SO SCREWED UP THESE DAYS THEN!””””””

    Nothing further to add. You´ve said everything pal

  41. savino says

    the funny thing is that her show The Simple Life is based on Paris living in the confines of a normal american family. If anything, these 45 days should be season 4 (or whatever season they are on). True Life bitch.

  42. Kelly says

    SEND HER TO JAIL…..this is pathetic. Any one of us would have to do the time. Why not her?

  43. Susie says

    IMO Paris Hilton does not deserve any of this attention. There is nothing at all special about her other than she has money. And that isn’t even something that she worked hard for. So she should do her time and everyone stop giving her what she is wanting and that is attention.

  44. Drake says

    Why all the hate for Paris? It obviously stems from jealousy. The title of this article is very misleading because 1st off she never made the quote, and 2nd its not even interpreted the right way in the title. Who cares that she is trying to get out of jail? Everyone that is sentenced tries to get out. Its common sense to try, noone wants to go to jail. Get your own like instead of writing about others.

  45. Shane says

    Well I guess she can skip going to jail. Just send her to my house; I will make sure she is disciplined every day.

  46. rickdt says

    Wow, all of these posts are negative except one. I dont understand the people that support her. THey must have an I.Q. of 2. I just dont understand how she is so popular. Look at these posts, most american hate her and not because we are jealous but because the rest of the world thinks that is what america is made of. The only thing I wish would have happened was for her to die in a single car accident. No there’s justice.

    Paris fans…… FUCK OFF you retards.

  47. BobM says

    Unfortunately, as was the case with Martha Stewart, Paris’ “career” will probably benefit from the jail time. However I must agree she needs to be incarcerated……and her little dog too!!!

  48. says

    This is all bullshit. Its fucking publicity stunt to jump up her sinking tv career, her tanked, shitty-awful record, and her film career. Don’t worry, the day that horrible cunt gets out of the clink there will be a book deal, a new reality tv show concept for FOX, and at least three movie roles in Summer 2008. We could only hope for some “real” prison abuses to happen to her, but the sad reality is that pampered bitch won’t be touched. I hate this country.

  49. Dr. Cribbit says

    I love how one of America’s biggest whores thinks she doen’t deserve to be in jail, despite the fact that she obvioulsy broke the law. I laugh at her anyone who agrees with her. If she had killed someone, would people think that she doesn’t deserve jail time? And speaking of famous people getting thrown in jail, can we get Fergie arrested for something too?

  50. Will T. says

    Hilton’s agent, on Paris: “she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world”.

    WTF! I think she is encouraging female teens to be the perfect sluts. My 2 cents.

  51. T-Roy says

    For such disregard to the legal system and responsibility for her actions I say 45 days is not long enough.

  52. Kavring says

    There are actually celebrity prison (it costs alot to go there). She will probably serve time with other famous dipshits that is too good for real life.

  53. Brad says

    They should set her free. The stupid government has no right to send anybody to jail for using a car they own on a road they pay for without a piece of paper from the government. America has become a fascist country and that needs to stop immediately. I hope she’s smart enough to get some protection from the government because that terrorist organization is going to continue to threaten her unless she does. Paris needs to be prepared to resist them by any means necessary if she’s going to avoid being enslaved and tortured.

    Paris simply exercised her right to drive her car. Now she needs to protect herself from evil people who wish to deny her that right.

  54. Brandon says

    The only thing that Paris has going for her is that she just happened to be born into a family with money. She really is not that good looking. She is just white trash with cash. If there is any justice left in are country then she will go to jail.

  55. jail paris! says

    Slutty bitch had it coming, Fry her ass in jail !! 45 days ain’t enough.
    Providing beauty and excitement, my ass. Lets see if your money gets you out off the can now.

  56. jesse says

    you drive with a suspended license. you don’t show up for a court date. you got to jail. you’re paying for your ignorance. this is what it is about. the social elite pleading ignorance. let justice be served. 45 days in jail is a great sentence. it’s long enough for her NOT to get used to jail life with beatings, rape, etc. 45 days of sodomy is just long enough. on day 46 she’ll be used to it then that she won’t learn her lesson. same goes for me when i sat on a cucumber. 45 days of that…46 days will be routine.

  57. jesse says

    ps. the only thing that she is inspiring little girls to be is whores with a body type of barbie with muscular dystrophy

  58. Jail her! says

    The survey is a fraud anyway, they provide a mechanism to add comments but these comments are not displayed.

    I imagine this is because most of the comments made were negative, so presenting a petition with tens of thousands of unembellished signatures and no comments would make more sense than one with tens of thousands of signatures, most of them accompanied by remarks about her porn video and how its only fair that she serve the time.

  59. Gerald says

    Wait…. you mean she’s even capable of driving? I didn’t think her neanderthal brain would be able to do that.

    Looks like it’s time they start a chain of Hilton Prisons for the future.

  60. Daddy Hilton says

    Its time for a fresh haircut Hilton – Spears style! Show us what we all know – brain surgery thats gone bad on a girl beyond repair!

  61. Katherine C (future hilton) says

    What is wrong with you people?!?!?!?! Paris Hilton is an insperation! I mean just think about it: how many people could get that far in hollywood without having a single talent? She doesn’t act of sing, yet she is still all over magazines and tv. That is so totally awesome! I hope to one day become a hilton. Paris please let me no if you have a single brother! yay! and i really think you should NOT have to go to jail. So what if you commited a crime? Everybody probably has at some time or another, whether it is slealing a pack of gum or worse. I wish you luck in court! get a good lawyer!

  62. says

    live her free she dind’t kill anyone and and one more thing u see how people on usa dont protect each other and other countries can break u easy so live her free paris u are best babe girl they can do nothing to u keep up

  63. says

    I know that Paris is not ALWAYS the best role model to younge kids, but i do believe that she is at times. Her self-confidence is a really good character trait. Its something i wish i could have. I’m always putting myself down, which is why Paris Hilton is my role model. I don’t thing Paris should have to go to jail. Most people don’t go to jail 45 days after a 3rd offence, They just pay and be done with it. DON’T LET PARIS GO TO JAIL! i’ll have noone to look up to then..

  64. ben says

    We can’t have a double standard for the rich and famous. I say we start a petition to request the maximum jail time of 90 days! How could we do it? myspace? Ideas people!

  65. FFGuerilla says

    The horrible brain that girl must have. She sees herself as some ethereal angel, alighting upon our humble world to bestow beauty and grace upon the mud splattered, slobbering creatures that we are. Fall to your knees and thank God that he loved us so that he would send His most heavenly creation.

  66. Patrick says

    Dear Govenor Ah-nold,
    If we let this Bitch have her way ’cause she can we might as well let her join the ranks of others like her that have lied to the American public for personal gain! People like George Bush! Bill Clinton, the L.A.P.D, Oil companies….etc. I say fry the cunt!

  67. Patrick says

    Dear Govenor Ah-nold,
    If we let this Bitch have her way ’cause she can we might as well let her join the ranks of others like her that have lied to the American public for personal gain! People like George Bush! Bill Clinton, the L.A.P.D, Oil companies….etc. I say fry the bitch!

  68. hazz says

    That bitch needs to do her time. I say she should do 90 days, plus rehab, AND have a fine.

    OR, she could make a deal with the state.

    She will bend over and be used by every Male / Female resident of California. She will be bent over for 45 days and let any and all come and abuse her bottom for eight hours a day. She gets to be free for the time frame, and she gets to service her fans.

    I mean she’s oh so beautiful and all, why not share that with her loyal fans…

    don’t forget the herpe cream.

  69. Ann says

    PARIS SHOULD HAVE WENT TO JAIL WHEN SHE EXPOSED HER PRIVATE PARTS IN PUBLIC. I WAS ANNOYED WHEN NOTHING HAPPEN TO HER WHEN SHE EXPOSED HERSELF. IF SHE WAS A MAN, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED, JAILED AND PUT ON THE SEX OFFENDER REGISTRATION LIST FOR LEWD BEHAVIOR.
    GO TO JAIL PARIS AND STOP CRYING LIKE A SPOIL KID. BE A WOMEN!!!!!

  70. arbee says

    This shit is fucked up. NOTHING BUT FUCKED UP.

    Take the cameras OFF HER. Stop writing ABOUT HER. Just ignore this disgusting waste of oxygen. She is a disgrace. Execute her.

  71. says

    She’ll end up okay she’ll end up in the nicest jail in the state. You aren’t really free in this country unless you have money. You can get thrown in jail and have to stay there for 45 days easily on trumped up charges.

  72. claudia says

    She is not innocent!!! How can she say she is innocent when she was caught driving with a suspended license and under the influence? Who’s fault is that? I think is time for her to accept her responsabilities and stop acting like she is about it all. This jail sentence will do her good, it will bring some humbleness to her stupid little life.
    Money is not all in life paris.
    I HOPE YOU ENJOY PRISON YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!!!!!

  73. claudia says

    If paris hilton is your role model TAYLOR REYNOLDS you got issues!!! If your role model is a person that has made a career out of being a SLUT, recording bad albums, making porn videos and showing them to the world (yes, I said showing because that story that she had no idea how that video became public nobody is buying it, how come some of that money was later traced back to her? That girl is a hypocrit and a liar!!!) If that is your role model I think you should check yourself. She is nothing more than a dirty little skanky spoiled whore!!!!!!

  74. Greg says

    *takes out a cigarette, lights it, takes a drag* ………….*exhales smoke* …mmmm that was good Paris… *takes drag*……….*exhales smoke*…. you were pretty good i must say, I’ll call you sometime… but i gotta go…. (Paris:) “but i don’t even know your name!” (me:) my name? its America, yea thats it, America *takes drag* ….*exhales smoke* … *puts out cigarette, gets up and walks out* (Paris:) *watches in shock naked on bed* “but i love you”….. *door slams*

    and that is how the judicial system works :)

  75. Tracey Schmitt says

    Paris Needs to go to jail. Maybe she will get lucky and get a clue. Hello?! Its time to grow up. What a waste of a life. She could have been so much more.. so much money, so much potential, and instead she is a complete retard that takes up TV time and inc in our tabloids. I am sure her parents are so proud of their retarted daughter.

  76. Cutesiegirl says

    Wait till some Dike gets a hold of her in jail and spreads her out on the bunk with her panties pulled down around her ankles Wooo eeee

  77. Shona Davies says

    Send the bitch down. She is a danger to the human gene pool. Any more vacuous or pointless and she’d be a dustbuster. Please, up her jail term to 45 years and remove the danger of her polluting future generations with her offspring.

  78. Jim says

    Paris Hilton is a racist piece of garbage and should rot in jail for existing. If it was any other normal person they would have been sent away. Just because she is some trashy celeb she gets off easy. Send her to jail and let the inmates have their way. WHORE!

  79. says

    She is really beautiful and deserves better than that. How can people be so ugly to such a beautiful girl. Men need to take care of her. She needs more protection.

  80. says

    iI THINK PARIS HILTON SHOULD SOOOOOOOO GO 2 JAIL CUZ THAT BITCH NEEDS PUNISHMENT!!! SOME OR MMMOOOSSSTTT PEOPLE SAY BLONDES R REALLY STUPID!!! LOOK @ PARIS!! SHE SHOULD EVEN TAKE CLASSES!!! PARIS CANT HAVE THIINGS HR WAY AAALLLLLL THE TIME!!!!SO YEAH……………………………………………………………….LOCK HER UP 4 A VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG ASS MUTHA FUCKEN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. Donald Duck says

    Paris should not go to jail. She is very beautiful and needs special treatment. Give her a break! Make her accomodations at the jail as pleasant as possible.

  82. says

    Paris is a rich spoiled snob it is not her fault that she is born so rich
    but she needs to be taught a lesson that she cannot get away with
    doing anything and that she is not above the law…you must respect
    the law…I admit that sometimes it is hard to stay focused when you
    get out there like she is…

  83. Lacey says

    get a life all of you. put yourself in her shoes, you’d be feeling and doing the same things she is. Hello! dont point the finger at her when you are no better. im sure some of the people writting these rude comments have made mistakes just as bad. If you were in the least bit famous, you would be in the same spot light.

  84. says

    heyy paris girll ..

    rr girl wats happendd!! hope u dnt get sent away just soo wudnt suite ur image!! maybe linsey will join u neva no!!
    45 days is so much parting missed all these ppl r jelous of u coz ur a shopper holic got wa they havent got maybee girll …
    well hope it all goes well !!! enyway jelous is a diese so get well soon bitchess pitty them all paris

  85. daffy duck says

    Paris needs us men to take care of her. She is a wonderful role model. Give her the best cell that you can find

  86. says

    Ah! So dumb…. Paris should just stay in jail!! Here’s her lawyer talking about how great she is…. let’s not forget he’s paid to say that!!
    http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid712135930/bclid686944137/bctid979216030

    and at the MTV movie awards the hilarious Sarah Silverman rips the girl to pieces, ok it is quite mean, atleast be a girl and say it behind her back!!!
    http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid712135930/bclid686944137/bctid978960014

  87. dina says

    omg…the twit is out of jail….she makes me sick and so does the “system”. they said she had medical problems…what she couldnt put on her 300 dollar prada shoes and drive to all the parties and then drive home …drunk?? did it make her nuts?? well send her trifling ass to a mental hospial because sending her to her own house is no punishment at all!

  88. says

    OMG!! what a dickhead her phsycologist is! I think he needs some phsycology himeself!! If I did that I’D GO TO JAIL!!, just because she’s a rich spoilt brat dosen’t mean she dosen’t get to do the time!! I’M FRIGGIN OUTRAGED!! surely someone in government should do something about this. I’d find it funny if arnie did because people were tunrning to him to keep her out of jail, so it would be ironic if he was to send her back

  89. spongebob squarepants says

    Turn paris into a crabburger. Don’t cry Paris. Jail aint that bad

  90. Donald Duck says

    Who let the dog out? Is she out or in? I’m sooo confused. Maybe the Sheriff slept with her

  91. Eve says

    I’m glad she’s in she should’nt be above the law. AND SHES REALLY HELPING HER CASE BYSYING OUR LIVES ARE MUNDANE. What an excellent point of law-she gives our lives excitement- and thats why murderers shouldn’t go to jail. They ‘excite us.’ She is just a rich girl- did she make any benefit to human mankind? Oh yeh, how could I forget. Entertain us with a porn video. How silly of me of forget *Rolls eyes* 45 DAYS IS NOTHIN’

  92. jay says

    What a worthless piece of shit this young girl is!! Never graduated from High School? GED?
    Does nothing for society; essentially parties 24hrs a day 7 days a week. The ? What Life. That shows try’s
    to make fun of the less fortunate in our society. The very, very Stupid!!! American public buys it??
    Why give the dimwit any airtime whatsoever. That’s what the other fat retard is for: ROSIE!! Another useless
    piece of uneducated shit flowing thru the American media.

    We are all responsible for making this piece of useless shit famous, or infamous. It’s a sad day when a Bald-headed stooge of a sheriff takes it upon himself to release without consulting the DA (Prosecutor)
    Nice judicial system in LA? It’s no wonder that city is a cauldron of racist morons and imbeciles.

    Finally, a note to the public on her appearance: No tits, No Ass, A very, very marginal face at best with the
    pounds of makeup she uses. (ala 70′s outdated style) Essentially, a fucking warpig of a 26yrold trying to make
    herself look glamerous. Probably would look better with less makeup and some time at a fucking gym.

    All in all a truly useless piece of shit!!

  93. Kit says

    I think the sheriff has been bribe…. investigation should be carried out on this.

  94. Mama Hilton says

    My baby shouldn’t be in jail !!! She has done so much for the society and she is an inspiration to teen girls around the world. All parents of the world should be proud to have a daughter like mine !!
    She’s achieved so much in her young age….. err…. like making home made porno fucking random bloke, start drinking underage, succesful career as a socialites (btw.. socialites is a job right?), take care of herself (no need for taxi or pals to drive her home eventhough she’s wasted doing booze and dope) and etc.
    How could you peasants, low lifes mortals says bad things of my baby !!!
    Jail is only for people like you !!!
    You people should be ashamed for envying our riches.
    Richs people like us should not go to jails because we pay more taxes than you do !!! We are the Hiltons you know !!!!!

  95. qwkinuf says

    TMZ.com is reporting that Paris Hilton has not eaten, slept, been crying a lot and is acting withdrawn since arriving at the medical ward of a Los Angeles jail.Wow! That’s what my 5 year old does when I send her to her room.

    I do have a question about all this Hilton business. If Nicole Ritchie ends up going into the slam, could we end up with parparazzi photos of Hilton and Ritchie going over the wall?

  96. qwkinuf says

    NEWS FLASH

    The Twin Towers professional staff has positively diagnosed Paris Hilton’s condition.

    Miss Hilton has been confirmed to be suffering from an advanced case of HUTAS (Head Up The Ass Syndrome). Hilton exhibits the advanced symptoms related to a patient with their head clearly up their ass. It is known that if HUTAS isn’t diagnosed and treated in its early stages, the condition suffocates the brain and leads to irreversible systemic damage. Symptoms are characterized by a lack of intelligence, muffled hysteria and blind arrogance which enlarges the head making it more difficult to cure the disease.

    Treatment for HUTAS includes applying repeated and sufficient force to each side of the buttocks with one’s foot. Having the patient walking or running while their buttocks is booted builds psychological remedy for the patient and satisfaction for the treatment specialist. Most professionals agree that in Miss Hilton’s case, several hundred treatment sessions will be required to obtain full remission. Due to the expected long and arduous recovery period, it is recommended that the public at large be recruited to administer treatments.

  97. kendra says

    DO NOT SEND PARIS 2 JAIL!!She does not deserve this!I f u do send her to jai, make it like the jail in the “Sweet Escape” video by Gwen Stefani.That would be like sooooo cool!And don’t make her wear the dumb orange or whatever color jumpsuit!EWWWW!!!!DO NOT SEND P HILTON 2 JAIL!!!PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  98. says

    i think she should go to jail: she deserves it and i wish i were a female soi can go to the jail and cunnilingus her. or i can transexualize for the bitch.

  99. shrek says

    I’ll trade in princess Fiona for Paris Hilton. Paris is blonde from head to toe and I like that. She is way too beautiful for jail. Set her free!!!

  100. Arwen says

    Ok lets get this strait she was cought drunk driving (think about all the people that have been killed by drunk drivers…..),
    then she was cought driving 3 times with a suspended licens. Yea she deserves it. The dumb blond act isn’t going to save you everytime.

  101. horny for celebrities says

    I use her picture for a jerk off sometimes – shes hot enough like. Shes a stupid bitch but she is cute – a blondie. I do have a thing for her. I dont want her in jail. I dont think shes a great person but my penis moves on its own when I see her – Im 54 – I know Im too old for her.

  102. says

    I agree with claudia, she must get the sentence when she did the crime. driving with a suspended license indeed is offensive.

  103. says

    i think paris hilton should not go to jail.she is too pretty to go to thee jail she is my idol and does not deserve to go there . she was just havimg fun on her birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    we all know that we all want to have fun

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