If you want proof that money can’t buy you everything, just look at Paris Hilton; it couldn’t buy Paris Hilton a decent music or acting career or an eye that wasn’t a little bit skew-whiff – and now it can’t buy her the right to drive on a suspended license.

Way back when Paris Hilton was arrested for loading up on a cocktail and zooming about the streets of LA with her head all higgelty-piggelty from the booze, part of her punishment was to have her driving license suspended for 36 months. Christ alone what Paris Hilton thought ‘suspended’ meant – we’re guessing either ‘literally hung from the ceiling’ or ‘some kind of east-European meat product’ – but she can’t have known the true meaning because of what we’re about to tell you. Long story short: Paris Hilton drives her car, Paris Hilton stopped by police, Paris Hilton probably about to spent the next three months languishing in some kind of correctional facility.