The last time Paris Hilton made any kind of video, it involved her doing all manner of unspeakable things to a man's genitals. Now Paris Hilton is at it again, this time doing unspeakable things to everyone's ears.
Remember all those stories about Paris Hilton making an album? Remember how you thought that it'd never materialise, since no record company would be dumb enough to pay to let the listless, wonk-eyed socialite slur "that's hot" over and over while a tinny Bontempi keyboard plays its default cha cha cha beat in the background? Well you were wrong. Paris Hilton has gone reggae, and there'll be a new single coming out next month to prove it.
Paris Hilton isn't a woman who rests on her laurels. Many people would be happy enough just to be the star of a disgusting Internet sex film and nothing else, but not our Paris. She's been vague and wafty on her own TV show The Simple Life and a forthcoming cartoon all about her, she's invented perfumes and written books, crashed cars and split up with Greeks, been mooted for a film role as Mother Teresa and been slapped with restraining orders. But that isn't enough for Paris Hilton – she wants to sing too.
Next month sees the release of the first Paris Hilton single, a reggae number called Stars Are Blind. Well, we say 'reggae' but – from the brief snatch we heard of it – it's so lightweight that it makes Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre sound like Kill Or Be Killed by Bloodclaat Gangsta Youth. Anyway, Paris Hilton is proud of Stars Are Blind – and the other seven lyrics that she wrote for her new album:
"The whole album has so much different music on it. I like all music. It's not like I only like pop or only rock. I want to have something for everybody… I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. When I finally let go and did it, I realised it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most."
If Paris Hilton is half as good at singing as she is at shamelessly promoting herself at every opportunity she gets, we're expecting Stars Are Blind to stay at number one for a million years. Incidentally, Paris Hilton has also recorded a cover version Do You Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart for the album, but we'll let you come up with your own hilarious responses for that.
[story by Stuart Heritage]