Paris Hilton Faces Jail Over Repeated Car Stupidity

Paris Hilton Jail Probation Car Driving Drink DUI CourtParis Hilton's big list of things she isn't very good at contains entries like 'acting,' 'singing,' and 'having two symmetrical eyes' – but it looks like Paris Hilton might have to now add 'driving a car well enough to avoid jail' to the foot of the list too.

After Paris Hilton was found driving her car down Sunset Boulevard last month – despite having her license revoked as part of a previous drink-driving punishment – police were keen to throw the book at her. And now it looks like that'll happen, since the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office announced yesterday that Paris Hilton violated the terms of her probation and faces up to 90 days in jail. Not that it'll bother Paris Hilton, obviously, as she's already got a criminal record – it's called Stars Are Blind. Ha! Stars Are Blind! Criminal record! Are you with us? Are you with us? Right? Anybody?

There are two places you don't want to mix with Paris Hilton. One is at a party – go to a party with Paris Hilton and you'll end up either falling off the roof or seeking a Hilton-centric restraining order – and the other is in her car. Because – as well you know – Paris Hilton is as hopeless at driving a car as she is at having it off with blokes without it ending up all over the internet.

In the past Paris Hilton has been the passenger in a car crash, the driver in a car crash and – less pertinently – unable to stop pissing herself in a taxi, but none of those incidents were taken as seriously as when Paris Hilton was arrested for DUI last year. Even though Paris Hilton initially pleaded not guilty to the charge – babbling something about burgers in the process – eventually Paris copped to a no contest plea, and was duly punished with a fine, an order to attend alcohol education classes and a 36-month probation period.

Part of that probation involved Paris Hilton not being allowed to speed down Sunset Boulevard at night with her headlights turned off, so it was kind of a shame when Paris Hilton was stopped by the LAPD for doing that exact thing last month. And now it's starting to look increasingly likely that Paris Hilton is going to go to jail for it, as E! Online reports:

The 26-year-old heiress violated her probation last month when police caught her driving with a suspended license, the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office announced Thursday, and she's facing a maximum 90-day jail sentence if a judge agrees… If Hilton knew that the DMV had temporarily revoked her driving privileges, "that would be a potential violation of her probation," City Attorney's Office spokesman Nick Velasquez told E! Online. "And we are confident that we have sufficient evidence to prove that her license was suspended and that she had knowledge of it at the time."

But even if Paris Hilton does end up in jail for breaking her probation, it's not the end of the world. After all, there's a vague chance that she could wind up having equally terrible driver Nicole Richie as her cell-mate, plus some of the more long-term prisoners won't have heard about Paris Hilton's dismal music career. And also, maybe the hotel heiress would be able to pick up some career tips from the inside of a jail. Perhaps it won't be too long before all Hilton hotel rooms come with a door-slot for food, a bucket to poo into and a red-eyed lesbian murderer dangerously swinging a rudimentary shiv around and hooting as standard.

Read more:

Paris Hilton Driven To Probation Violation? – E! Online


  1. Shiver says

    Sounds like the next season of “The Simple Life” is already in the can. “The Simple Life: Girls Behind Bars”

  2. KIA says

    What a loser! Probation, Suspended drivers liscense? The Hilton family must be so proud!!! Boycott all Hilton run business
    and lets put this family out of business. The new generation cleary adds no value to society.

  3. Lillian says

    I am glad Paris Hilton is getting jail time. She is no different than someone else. She is a stuckup, conceited snob! She also has no talent!!!!

  4. sk8rgurl says

    Everything is always someone else’s fault, never hers. I particularly loved the part where she told the judge when he questioned her as to whether she had read the documents she signed and she told him that (1) she has people that do that for her, and (2) she just signs what she’s told to sign. I’m starting to wonder if she’s illiterate. Either way, I’m glad the judge didn’t buy that load of bull…the crying, the making the sign of the cross..putting her hands over her mouth (so scarlett o’hara like)..expressing dismay and shock, the bitch never could act. I think that day in court was her best performance ever. I, for one, do not think it was a total waste of the taxpayers’ money, regardless of what her mother has to say about it.