"Next," the KFC employee calls out. "Um, yeah, I’d like one super-sized bucket of excruciatingly murdered chicken, and a side of spitting tobacco juice into a strapped down hen’s open eyes," we generally reply as we place our order.
Of course you don’t remember that exact KFC correspondence, but that’s the behind the scene’s delivery system, or so claims PETA‘s newest spokesperson Pamela Anderson. And much to her chagrin, the man that started it all, one Colonel Harland Sanders, has a big honorary stone head that looms over Kentucky’s state capital, and she wants it taken down yesterday!
The state of Kentucky has two heroes: Daniel Boone, who
discovered and settled it, and Colonel Harland Sanders, who covered all
their chickens in a delicious flaky crust. The latter, of course, is
the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, the fast food chain famous
for their mashed potatoes, biscuits and extravagant forms of mindless
chicken torture, or so claim PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of
Animals), anyway.
Sanders is so revered in Kentucky that a bust of his head can be
found gracing the state capitol. PETA and and their favourite celebrity
Pamela Anderson (DVDs) aren’t pleased about this. Anderson sent a letter to
Kentucky’s Governor Ernie Fletcher in which she stated:
"The
bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no
place in the Kentucky state capitol."
In the letter she also listed
some of the referred-to cruelty as being: spray-painting the chicken’s
faces, spitting tobacco into their eyes, and tearing the heads off of
them while they are still alive, and then very quickly not-alive.
A state spokesman has replied that Sanders is a "Beloved man", and
his bust isn’t going anywhere. The same spokesman also said:
"If we
were going to move it, it would be to a more prominent position where
more people could see it."
Pam Anderson has had a long standing battle with Kentucky Fried
Chickens’ bird-slaughtering practises. She recently sent video tapes of
the killing practises to five KFC managers in Anchorage, Alaska, in
which she narrates the chicken killing process. One of the complaints
therein is that KFC is said to breed and drug the birds to grow at
quicker and unhealthier rates, eventually crushing the bird beneath
it’s own weight.
It’s never been reported that KFC once tried a much more humane way
to plump their chicken. In the late nineties silicone was used, but it
made the breasts too chewy and tasted terrible with honey mustard. The
cost of the chicken surgeries, silicone’s molecular refusal to stay in
any kind of nugget form, and the time the chickens with the biggest
boobs disappeared after a rooster truck crashed through the back gate,
all horribly offset any would be profits. Thus, KFC’s dabble into
humane enhancement came to an abrupt end. At least they tried, PETA,
at least they tried.
Read more:
Anderson sounds the alarm over KFC’s ‘chicken abuse’ – Independent
[story by Shawn Lindseth]